Tiny Tina –
Status: Alive
Daily Check-Ins From the
Middle of the Fight
Some days are brave.
Some days are blankets.
All days are real.

Status updates may include sarcasm, tears, dark humor, and unexpected gratitude.
Flat, Floppy & Keeping It Real
🌼 Date: Friday, March 13, 2026
⚡ Energy: Improving… slightly less cranky
❣️ Status: Pancake boob era
😉 Outlook: Healing, patience, and radical honesty
Today I’m happy to report that my pectoral muscle has started calming down a bit after Wednesday’s Deflate Gate Olympics. I can move a little easier today, which is a huge win.
But…
I am not a fan of the aftermath.
Let’s just say my right side has officially entered what I am now calling the Pancake Phase.

And when I say pancake, I mean flat, floppy, and slightly confusing to look at.
In fact, I’m pretty sure that if the plastic expander bag wasn’t still sitting in there, I could probably roll the whole thing up like a sock and tuck it into my bra.

Ladies who have breastfed will probably understand exactly what I’m talking about here.
You know that sucked-dry, completely emptied out boob that suddenly looks like it has given up on life and relocated closer to your belly button than your neckline?
Yeah.
That.
Now imagine that… but with a plastic expander shell still sitting underneath it.
Cancer reconstruction is truly the gift that keeps on giving.
Now before anyone wonders why they would intentionally deflate the opposite side before radiation, there actually is a very good reason for it.
Radiation therapy is extremely precise. The doctors are aiming powerful radiation beams at a very specific target area in order to destroy any microscopic cancer cells that might still be hanging around.
If the expander stays fully inflated, it can:
• Push tissue into the radiation field
• Block or scatter part of the radiation beam
• Make it harder for the radiation team to target the exact area they need
By deflating the expander, it allows the skin and tissue to lay flatter against the chest wall so the radiation oncologists can accurately aim the treatment where it needs to go.
So, while my boob currently resembles something that could be folded like laundry, it’s actually helping the radiation team do their job better.
And if it helps kill cancer cells?
Then pancake boob it is.
Now in the spirit of keeping it real, I’m including a couple photos today.
Not because I enjoy sharing my weird science experiment chest with the world… but because this is what this journey actually looks like.
Cancer isn’t always pink ribbons and inspirational quotes.
Sometimes it’s:
• concave boobs
• alien-edge expanders
• dry-brushing skin blizzards
• and learning to laugh at things you never imagined you’d be discussing publicly.
But if sharing the real parts of this helps even one other woman feel less alone, then it’s worth it.
Besides…
Someday when this whole adventure is behind me, these photos will just be proof that this badass body survived one hell of a fight.
And that’s something I’m pretty proud of.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Retrogression: When Your Boob Goes Back in Time
🌼 Date: Thursday, March 12, 2026
⚡ Energy: Low and slightly cranky
💔 Status: One angry pectoral muscle
😐 Outlook: Temporary setback… but still moving forward
Well… remember yesterday’s little adventure known as Deflate Gate?
Yeah.
Apparently, my body would like to file a formal complaint.
Today it hurts to do just about anything that involves my right pectoral muscle.
And when I say anything, I mean anything.
Lifting my fork to eat?
Pain.
Reaching for something on the counter?
Pain.
Pushing myself up out of bed?
Oh, that one is extra spicy.
So today I have officially switched to eating with my left hand, which feels a little like I’m a toddler learning how to use utensils again.
And we are also back to the classic household request:
“Casey… can you grab that for me from the top shelf?”
If this sounds familiar, it’s because it is.
It feels exactly like October, right after my surgery.
Back when every little movement felt like I was waking up muscles that had been personally offended by my life choices.
Getting out of bed requires careful planning.
Bending over to tie my shoes? A full production.
Pushing off with my right arm? Absolutely not.
But the real throwback is something I had almost forgotten about.
Those hard, pokey edges on the expander.
You know… the ones that make it look and feel like the alien from the movie is trying to claw its way out of your chest.
Yeah.
Those are back.
Just when I thought we were making progress…
BAM.
Major regression.
Actually, scratch that.
Regression would mean going backward a little bit.
What I am experiencing right now is something much more dramatic.
When I came out of surgery in October, I had 50cc in each expander.
Today?
I have 0cc in the right side.
That’s not regression.
That is retrogression.
Yes, that’s a real word.
(And if it isn’t, I encourage you to Google it and support my argument anyway.)
Retrogression:
The act of going so far backward that you somehow pass where you started.
Which means my right boob has essentially decided to time travel.
Fantastic.
But here’s the thing about this whole process.
Healing isn’t a straight line.
It’s more like one of those stock market graphs where things go up, then down, then sideways, then someone panics and sells everything.
Yesterday we made progress toward radiation.
Today my body is loudly reminding me that there’s still work to do.
So, for now I’m slowing down, taking it easy, and letting my pectoral muscle finish its dramatic tantrum.
Because even when it feels like we’re moving backward…
We’re still moving through this.
And that still counts.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Deflate Gate, CPR Boobs & Operation: Tiny Dog – The Interview
🌼 Date: Wednesday, March 11, 2026
⚡ Energy: Slightly lopsided but still hopeful
❤️ Status: Officially a member of the Uni-Boob Club
😘 Outlook: Healing, patience… and possibly a road trip to Seattle
Today was the long-awaited plastics appointment for Deflate Gate. 😢
For those of you who have been following along and doing the math, I currently had 515cc in each expander. The plan for today was simple:
Remove all 515cc from the right side before radiation.
Easy, right?
Well… if you know me at all, you already know I don’t do anything the easy way.
The first 150cc came out beautifully. Smooth. Efficient. Textbook.
Then… nothing.
The syringe stopped pulling fluid like my boob had suddenly decided to clamp down and go on strike.
The nurse tried a few tricks.
Reposition the needle.
Adjust the syringe.
Try again.
Still nothing.
Apparently even my boobs have a stubborn streak.
So naturally, this meant it was time to bring in Nurse #2.
Her assignment: push all the remaining fluid toward the port so Nurse #1 could suction it out.
Now when I say push, I don’t mean a gentle little nudge.
I mean two hands, leaning in, pushing on my chest like she was performing CPR on someone who had no pulse and had been gone for ten minutes.
I’m honestly a little surprised I didn’t leave there with a cracked rib and a toe tag.
But eventually… success.
All 515cc are officially gone from the right side.
And remember the picture I painted earlier about the empty milk jug you accidentally stepped on that formed around your foot?
Well now imagine you screw the lid on that jug so there is zero air left inside.
Then push it flat.
Then push it even flatter.
Then somehow manage to make it concave.
Ladies and gentlemen…
That is now my right side.
It is flatter than flat.
In fact, it’s actually sucked inward toward my chest.
And the fun part?
It has to stay like this for about four weeks after radiation is finished. Possibly longer. It all depends on how quickly my skin heals and when my plastics team feels comfortable starting the refill process again.
The good news is that when refills start again, they can do larger increments than 50cc at a time, so it shouldn’t take quite as long to get back to 515cc.
But until roughly mid-June…
I will now proudly answer to the name:
The Uni-Boober.
Now let’s move on to the part you’ve all been waiting for…
Operation: Tiny Dog – The Phone Interview.
First things first, I received an email asking for photos of our house.
Very vague instructions.
So naturally, I went into full overachiever mode.
I took pictures of:
• The outside of the house
• The yard so they could see where she’ll run and potty
• The inside of the house from multiple angles
• The doggy ramp up onto the couch
• The couch with its official dog blankets
• The dog bed in front of the fireplace
• The basket of dog toys next to it
• Our bedroom with the other dog bed next to ours
Even though I clearly explained in the application that Gidget sleeps on our bed, and the new little lady can sleep wherever she feels comfortable.
And of course… I may have snuck in a few pictures of Gidget, because honestly, how could I not?
The phone interview itself went really well.
The woman we spoke with actually has rescued Yorkies herself, and she agrees with what we’ve been thinking all along—that this little girl likely needs a companion, just like we think Gidget needs one.
She was rescued from a puppy mill, and she has an appointment on the 17th to be spayed.
Which means the earliest we could bring her home would be the 22nd.
So…
If everything continues to go well…
Next weekend might involve a road trip to Seattle.
And honestly?
After becoming the Uni-Boober of Oregon today, a five-pound snuggle buddy sounds like exactly the kind of medicine I could use.
Stay tuned, my beauties… this story might have a very happy ending.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
The Great Skin Shed & Operation: Tiny Dog Application
🌼 Date: Tuesday, March 10, 2026
⚡ Energy: Determined with a side of slightly horrified curiosity
💖 Status: Exfoliated within an inch of my life
🥰 Outlook: Hopeful for smoother skin and maybe a tiny new family member
Well… yesterday we talked about my brilliant chemo-brain idea to try dry brushing to combat this full-body snow globe situation.
Today was experiment day.
Now, because I am nothing if not a practical scientist in my own personal bathroom laboratory, I decided the smartest place to attempt this little adventure would be standing in the shower. That way, if things got… messy… cleanup would be minimal.
Friends.
I was not prepared.
You would not believe how much skin came off my body. I’m talking flakes, particles, tiny bits floating around like I was creating my own personal dermatology blizzard.
At one point I actually stopped and wondered:
Should I be wearing a mask for this?
Because seriously… is it bad to inhale your own skin?
I mean, logically it feels like something one should probably avoid… but at that point the damage was already done. So I guess time will tell. 😆
Once the brushing portion of the experiment concluded (and the shower floor looked like it had just survived a mild sandstorm), I moved on to phase two: the exfoliating sponge.
If we’re doing this, we’re doing it all the way.
So, I scrubbed, rinsed, scrubbed again, and then proceeded to apply lotion to every single body part I could physically reach. Arms, legs, chest, stomach, shoulders… if it had skin on it, it got moisturized.
It was basically a full-body lotion party.
But even after all that attention, I still had that weird “pilling” feeling—you know, when little bits of skin decide they’re not quite ready to leave the building yet.
So, what did I do?
I grabbed a clean, dry washcloth and wiped down my entire body again like I was doing the world’s strangest post-shower detailing job.
More flakes.
More bits.
More evidence that my body apparently believes it’s a never-ending source of exfoliation material.
Good grief.
I don’t think my skin has ever received this much focused attention in its entire life.
On a much happier note, though, after my spa treatment / science experiment / dermatology excavation project, I sat down and finished the adoption application for that tiny little girl from the shelter.
And let me tell you… this was not a quick “name, address, and favorite dog treat” kind of application.
Oh no.
This thing was more like applying for admission to an Ivy League college.
I swear there were at least 50 questions, and several of them required full-on essay answers.
Questions about my home.
Questions about my schedule.
Questions about my yard.
Questions about my philosophy on dog training.
At one point I actually stopped and thought:
Wait a minute… am I even qualified to own a dog?
Which is ridiculous, because I’m 54 years old and I’ve had dogs in my life since I was a kid.
But somewhere around question number thirty-something, I started feeling like I should probably be including references, transcripts, and a personal statement about my long-term goals in dog parenting.
But I powered through.
Because the whole time I was filling it out, I kept thinking about those little eyes that spoke straight to my heart.
Application: submitted.
Now here’s the funny part.
Apparently, chemo brain decided that 3:00 in the morning was the perfect time to wrap things up. So sometime around that hour, I hit submit and went to bed feeling pretty good about getting it done.
And by the time I woke up later that morning?
I already had a text from the shelter asking if we could schedule the phone interview on Wednesday.
Cue the excitement… and maybe a tiny bit of nervous energy.
So, stay tuned, my beauties, because tomorrow we find out what happens next in Operation: Tiny Dog.
Send those good vibes and hopeful thoughts our way. If everything lines up the way my heart is hoping, there might be a five-pound little lady joining our family very soon.
And honestly, after today’s Great Skin Shed of 2026, a little puppy snuggle would be the perfect reward.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Brush, Baby, Brush & A Tiny Heart Thief
🌼 Date: Monday, March 9, 2026
⚡ Energy: Curious, slightly sparkly
💖 Status: Flaky but optimistic
🥰 Outlook: Big changes coming—on my skin and in my heart
So, chemo brain strikes again… but this time, it’s a bright, sparkly kind of idea.
You know how I’ve been waging war against this full-body snow globe situation—arms, legs, face, earlobes, the works? Well, my brain came up with a potentially genius solution: dry brushing. Yes, the very thing people rave about for circulation and glowing skin, apparently. Could it also help me shed this chemo-induced flakiness without turning the living room into a winter wonderland? Only one way to find out.
So I went straight to Amazon, because that’s where all brilliant, slightly desperate ideas go at 2 PM on a Sunday. I ordered myself two brushes: one for my face, and one for my body—because obviously, my face deserves its own special treatment. And guess what, my lovelies? They arrived today.
Cue my inner Tina: wide-eyed, ready to exfoliate like a rock star sanding a guitar. Will these brushes rise to the occasion, or will they just add another layer to the snow globe effect? Stay tuned, because tomorrow, I’ll give you the definitive update on whether these little beauties can save me from looking like a peeling croissant.
But that’s not the only excitement today. Oh no. Today, the universe threw me a tiny little miracle. I was scrolling through a local shelter (because yes, my heart always has room for a four-legged companion), and there she was… the perfect little girl.
She’s six years old, weighs five pounds, and her coloring? Almost identical to our sweet baby girl, Gidget. But it wasn’t just her look—it was her eyes. Those tiny, soulful eyes that seemed to speak directly to my heart. 💗
So tonight, while my brushes wait patiently to show me their magic, I’ll be filling out her adoption application. Please send all the good vibes, positive thoughts, and tiny happy dances you’ve got—because this little heart thief might just be coming home with us.
Between the quest for soft, non-flaky skin and the search for another tiny life to love, today has been a mix of anticipation, hope, and a little bit of sparkle. ✨
Stay tuned, my beauties. Tomorrow, we’ll see whether I’m gliding into smooth skin or just creating another snowstorm, and we’ll also be keeping our fingers crossed for the little girl who already has my heart.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Snow Globe Skin & the Great Moisture Hunt
🌼 Date: Saturday, March 7 & Sunday, March 8, 2026
⚡ Energy: Slightly crusty, slightly brilliant
💓 Status: Flaky but functioning
🧐 Outlook: Moisture is out there somewhere… and I will find it
This weekend we’re talking about something no one warns you about with chemo… and that is what it does to your skin.
I was ready for the big stuff.
Hair loss? Knew it was coming.
Nausea? Yep.
Fatigue? Obviously.
Being either freezing or sweating like I’m in menopause during a desert heat wave? Check.
Neuropathy? Mouth sores? Metallic taste? Chemo brain?
All on the list.
But the one thing nobody talks about is what happens to your skin.
Here’s the science part, because apparently, I’m becoming a part-time dermatologist during this journey. Chemo attacks rapidly dividing cells — which is great when those cells are cancer, but unfortunately it also hits healthy skin cells living in the deeper layers. That means:
• Your skin can’t retain moisture like it normally does
• Sweat glands slow down (which help hydrate skin naturally)
• The outer skin barrier gets compromised
• And if you’re dehydrated from nausea? That makes it even worse
So basically, my skin is out here fighting for its life.
And let me tell you… the farther I get into chemo, the drier and flakier everything has become.
Arms.
Legs.
Chest.
Abdomen.
Face.
Even my earlobes.
Friends… when I take off my compression tank top at night it looks like someone shook a snow globe over my head. ❄️
It’s a full-body exfoliation event whether I want it or not.
Naturally, I went into full Tina problem-solving mode.
First stop: exfoliation.
My ride-or-die face scrub since the 1990s — St. Ives Apricot Scrub (yes, I’m still loyal). I even tried using it on my body.
Still snowing.
Then I upgraded to an exfoliating body sponge and scrubbed like I was sanding down a deck.
Still snowing.
Then after drying off with my nice fluffy towel, I grabbed a coarser hand towel and exfoliated again outside the shower.
Still shedding skin like a snake going through a personal growth phase.
Which leads me to a very important question…
At what point does the human body actually run out of skin to shed?
Is there a limit?
Is there a “Congratulations, you’ve exfoliated enough” notification I should be waiting for?
Because if this keeps up much longer, I’m going to start looking like that anatomy poster hanging in every doctor’s office… you know the one… the man with no skin where you can see all the muscles and ligaments.
And while yes — pink is my favorite color…
I’m not entirely convinced I could pull off that look. 😆
Now let’s talk lotions.
My longtime favorite: Australian Gold Moisture Lock Tan Extender Lotion. Been using it for years. Love it.
Not cutting it anymore.
Next up: Alba Botanica Coconut Rescue.
Nope.
Then I ordered Native Body Lotion. That one worked for a while… until it didn’t.
So, then I did what every chemo patient eventually does…
I went down the internet research rabbit hole.
Turns out most lotions sit on the surface of your skin. They make things feel temporarily better but don’t penetrate deep enough to actually repair what chemo is doing.
And if the lotion has alcohol in it? It can actually dry your skin out more.
Awesome.
So now I have entered the world of skin oils.
I tried a Honeysuckle Multi-Use Face, Body & Hair Oil — but the scent was so strong it felt like I was marinating in a Victorian perfume shop. So that one has officially been reassigned as cuticle oil.
Still searching for the perfect body oil.
Now let’s talk about my face, because that’s been its own adventure.
I used Burt’s Bees for years to remove makeup and wash my face. But lately my skin felt tight and dry, like it was two minutes away from filing a complaint with HR.
So, I started experimenting.
Right now, my routine includes:
• A silky face wash that feels amazing
• A Hyaluronic Acid moisturizer with Vitamin E
• And my new favorite discovery…
Manuka Honey face wash and face oil.
I was skeptical about putting oil on my face because I pictured myself walking around looking like a buttered ham.
But surprisingly? It soaks right in.
And after I use it, my skin feels so soft that I keep petting my own face without realizing it.
Like a cat.
Just casually stroking my own cheeks.
Totally normal behavior.
I’ve always loved Manuka honey because of its healing properties. I actually used it years ago when I was first diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis, and I still keep some in the cupboard for tea when I’m sick and little boo-boos.
But then today… my chemo brain had an epiphany.
And tomorrow we’re going to see if that little lightbulb moment turns into a brilliant idea… or just another chapter in the ongoing saga of “Things Tina Tried in the Bathroom Lab.”
Stay tuned.
And in the meantime, if you see me shedding flakes around
like a walking human croissant, just know I’m doing my best.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Rare & Valuable… For a Few More Days
🌼 Date: Friday, March 6, 2026
⚡ Energy: Slightly Improved but Still Coughy
💗 Status: Expanded and Educated
😒 Outlook: Apparently “Deflate Gate” Is Coming
I had my plastics appointment today and got another 50cc added to each side.
Which means I am now sitting at 515cc in each expander.
For those of you keeping track in beverage math, that equals 17.4 ounces.
Naturally, I had to Google what drinks come in that size. Because this is the kind of research project cancer recovery has turned me into.
And guess what I discovered?
During the 2018–2020 NFL seasons, Pepsi made special cans with a textured surface that mimicked the grip of a football.
They were called Pepsi Laces cans.
Apparently, they were marketed as collector items and were considered rare and valuable.
See? Even in the middle of this nightmare journey, we’re still learning new and completely random things.
Which means, technically speaking, I am currently sporting a pair of rare and valuable 17-ounce collectors’ editions.
Not bad.
Unfortunately… the good news portion of today’s program ended there.
Next week at my appointment they will be draining the saline out of the right expander in preparation for my radiation appointment on the 17th.
Yes.
Draining.
I asked if they could just drain both sides so I could stay symmetrical until radiation is finished.
My plastic surgeon said that is a hard no.
The reason is that after radiation, the skin on the left side will become much less pliable. It won’t stretch the same way, which is why I have to wait at least six months after radiation before I can have my final reconstructive surgery.
Radiation basically toughens the skin to the point where it wouldn’t stretch enough to properly cover an implant.
Which would completely defeat the purpose of spending the past several months slowly stretching the skin with these weekly fills to make room for my future “gummies.”
So next week, whether I like it or not…
Deflate Gate begins.
At my radiation appointment on the 17th, they’ll do all the imaging and measurements needed to get the radiation machine properly set up.
I’m sure that appointment will come with a whole new set of information and adventures.
More on that once I know more.
But in the meantime, I have less than five days left to enjoy being both rare and valuable.
Well… my boobs are anyway.
After that, I’ll be rocking the one-boob look until radiation is finished, which will likely be sometime around mid-May.
Cancer really does keep things interesting.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
The Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing
🌼 Date: Wednesday, March 4 – Thursday, March 5, 2026
⚡ Energy: Low Battery Mode
💗 Status: Resting, Recovering, Recharging
😑 Outlook: Sometimes Healing Looks Like Doing Nothing
The last couple of days have been… uneventful.
And honestly, that’s probably exactly what my body needed.
After the cold, the cough, the antibiotics, the oncology appointment, and the emotional whiplash of learning about five more years of medication… my body pretty much staged a quiet little protest.
So for the past two days I’ve been doing something that does not come naturally to me.
Nothing.
Well… not literally nothing.
But pretty close.
I stayed home.
I rested.
I hydrated.
I rotated between the bed and the recliner like it was some kind of extremely low-energy Olympic sport.
The cough is still hanging around, but it’s slowly improving. The antibiotics seem to be doing their job, and I’m trying to give my body the time it clearly needs to catch up with everything it has been through.
Because when you really stop and think about it… the last several months have been a lot.
Chemo.
Surgeries.
Appointments.
Medications.
Radiation planning.
And apparently now bonus respiratory nonsense just for fun.
So, the past two days have been dedicated to the very glamorous work of healing.
Which mostly looks like:
• Sleeping
• Drinking fluids
• Watching TV
• Staring out the window
• Wondering if the cough is finally getting better
• And reminding myself that resting is not the same thing as quitting
For someone like me — a person who is usually in constant motion — doing nothing can feel strangely uncomfortable.
But I’m learning that sometimes doing nothing is actually doing something important.
It’s letting your body rebuild.
It’s giving your immune system the time it needs to fight back.
It’s allowing all the behind-the-scenes repair work to happen.
So for these two days, the goal wasn’t productivity.
The goal was healing.
And even if it doesn’t look like much from the outside…
It’s still progress.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
The Goalpost Moves Again
🌼 Date: Tuesday, March 3, 2026
⚡ Energy: Running Low, Brain Running Wild
💗 Status: Processing New Information
🤔 Outlook: Apparently This Game Has Extra Innings
Today I had an appointment with oncology.
I went in thinking it would be a pretty routine check-in. Just another step along the path of finishing chemo, getting through radiation, and continuing the long road back to normal.
Or whatever my new normal will look like.
Instead, I learned about the next chapter.
After I complete radiation, I’ll need to start taking an estrogen-blocking medication.
And not just for a little while.
For a minimum of five years.
Five.
Years.
Holy cow.
There are several different medications in this category, and my doctor will choose which one I take based on my history, the specific type of cancer I have, and all the very detailed numbers that go along with it.
Because apparently no two cancer cases are exactly the same.
Which makes sense medically… but it also means there’s no neat little “this is what happens next” roadmap.
Then we looked at the list of possible side effects.
Let’s just say it’s not exactly a spa menu.
Possible side effects include things like:
• Morning sickness
• Diarrhea
• Loss of appetite… or weight gain
• Severe joint pain
• Hot flashes
• Muscle stiffness
• Bone thinning
So basically a delightful little grab bag of possibilities depending on which medication I end up taking.
At this point my only question is:
Can I get the one that doesn’t have any of those side effects, please?
Thanks.
But the bigger thing this stirred up for me is something I wasn’t really expecting.
I think somewhere in my mind I believed that once I made it through chemo, radiation, and all the surgeries… I’d eventually be able to return to life as normal.
Or at least something resembling normal.
Especially when it comes to work.
Not a desk job.
A physically demanding job.
Now I’m sitting here wondering how people actually do that while dealing with medications that can cause joint pain, muscle stiffness, and bone thinning.
And let’s talk about the more immediate possibilities on that side effect list.
Things like nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea.
Because that sounds like a blast when your job involves driving a bus for 3–4 hours at a time.
Seriously… how does that work exactly?
Do I need to start purchasing stock in adult diapers now?
And in a fragrance-free zone, what exactly would I do about the smell of a used diaper?
It’s not like I can just pin an air freshener to my back and call it good.
These are the kinds of very glamorous, very practical questions that apparently come with the next phase of cancer treatment.
It’s a lot to process.
Because right now it feels a little like the end zone keeps moving farther away.
Every time I think I’m getting close, the rules change and there’s another stretch of field ahead.
And if you know me, you know one thing:
I do not like playing games where the rules change in the middle.
But here we are.
So tonight I’m sitting with the information.
Trying to wrap my head around what the next five years might look like.
Still healing.
Still fighting.
Still figuring out the rules of this new game.
Even if I don’t particularly like them.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
The Whispering Client
🌼 Date: Monday, March 2, 2026
⚡ Energy: Barely Audible
💗 Status: Whispering, Wheezing, Still Sick
💅 Outlook: At Least My Nails Look Good
I’m still feeling pretty crappy today.
The cough is still hanging around, and now I’ve reached the stage where every time I talk, it makes me cough.
So naturally, my solution is to whisper everything.
I’m guessing Casey is enjoying this development.
A very quiet wife? What a dream.
Unfortunately for him, whispering is not a permanent lifestyle choice.
Now here’s the thing — I had a nail appointment scheduled this afternoon, and it had already been three weeks.
Three weeks.
For some people that might not sound like a big deal, but if you know me… that is pushing it.
So, despite feeling like a whispering Victorian ghost, I went to my appointment.
But we had a little strategy.
On the drive there I whispered all of my wants and needs to Casey, so he could translate for me once we got to the salon.
And let me tell you, this dynamic duo nailed it.
Every time my nail tech asked a question like:
“Do you want them shorter?”
Casey would jump right in and say something like:
“Only a tiny bit… like less than you normally do.”
Meanwhile I’m sitting there nodding quietly like the mysterious client who apparently travels with her own spokesperson.
She thought it was hilarious.
Honestly, so did I.
And because Casey was already fully involved in the process… I let him pick the color too.
Believe it or not, we still haven’t tried all the pinks yet.
The ladies at the salon always get a kick out of him, and I have to admit — he makes a pretty good nail consultant.
At this point I kind of hope he keeps coming with me even after I don’t need a chauffeur anymore.
Because apparently, he has opinions about nail length now.
And honestly?
The whispering client and her interpreter make a pretty great team.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
The Seal Has Entered the Chat
🌼 Date: Sunday, March 1, 2026
⚡ Energy: Running on Antibiotics & Determination
💗 Status: Sinuses in Revolt, Lungs Filing Complaints
🤧 Outlook: Hoping We Stop at “Gross Cough” and Skip Pneumonia
Well… things escalated overnight.
I woke up this morning feeling even worse than yesterday.
The sore throat and sinus situation are still hanging around, but now we’ve added a brand-new symptom to the party:
The deep seal cough.
You know the one.
That barky, chesty, “did someone sneak a sea lion into the house?” kind of cough.
And let me tell you… it’s a productive one.
We’re not going to get too graphic here, but let’s just say my lungs have apparently decided it’s time for a full spring cleaning.
Good times.
After a few rounds of coughing that made me question my life choices, I called my doctor.
Within a short amount of time, I was officially prescribed antibiotics, and he also added Sudafed to my ever-growing list of medications and remedies.
At this point my daily routine includes:
• Cold medicine
• Sinus rinses
• Homemade cough syrup
• Antibiotics
• Sudafed
• And a whole lot of tissues
Honestly, I’m starting to feel like a small traveling pharmacy.
But here’s the upside I didn’t expect…
Apparently having cancer has one strange benefit: when you call the doctor, they take you seriously very quickly.
Priority service when it actually matters.
Not exactly a perk I would have chosen… but I’ll take the fast response time.
Now the goal is simple:
Stop this nonsense before it decides to move further down into my lungs and turn into pneumonia.
That’s a hard pass from me.
So, for now I’m resting, hydrating, medicating, and doing everything I can to convince my body that this is not the direction we want to go.
Fingers crossed the antibiotics kick in quickly and the coughing circus calms down.
Because between chemo recovery and this respiratory rebellion…
My body has already had more than enough excitement lately.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
The Over-the-Counter Olympics
🌼 Date: Saturday, February 28, 2026
⚡ Energy: Running on Fumes and Cold Medicine
❤️🩹 Status: Officially Sick of Being Sick
😷 Outlook: At This Point I’m Open to Witchcraft
Today was another sick day.
No adventures.
No outings.
No brave treks to Mexican restaurants.
Just me… at home… working my way through what I’m fairly certain is every over-the-counter cold and cough medicine known to mankind.
So far, the lineup includes:
• Alka-Seltzer Cold
• Theraflu
• NyQuil
• All of the Vicks tricks known to every grandma
• And a thorough sinus excavation courtesy of my trusty neti pot
If there’s a pharmacy shelf somewhere, I’m pretty sure I’ve sampled from it.
At this point my body probably has a light citrus-menthol aftertaste.
The neti pot situation deserves its own special mention.
There is something incredibly humbling about voluntarily pouring warm salt water through your sinuses while standing over a sink wondering how your life choices led you here.
But when you’re sick enough, dignity becomes negotiable.
Honestly, I’m not sure what’s left to try.
Maybe:
• more hot tea
• chicken soup – the vegetarian version
• standing outside under the full moon
• waving sage around the house
• or just surrendering and becoming one with the couch
The good news is I’m still staying tucked safely inside my little recovery bubble.
The bad news is the germs apparently RSVP’d anyway.
So, today’s accomplishments include:
• Hydrating
• Meditating (mostly accidental while staring at the wall)
• Perfecting my couch-nesting technique
• And continuing my quest to find the magical potion that makes this nonsense go away
Recovery from cancer is already a marathon.
Adding a cold on top of it feels like someone decided the marathon should also include a surprise obstacle course.
But I’m still here.
Still resting.
Still healing.
Still experimenting with cold medicine like a slightly desperate amateur pharmacist.
Eventually something has to work.
And if it doesn’t… I still have my homemade whiskey cough syrup.
Desperate times.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
The Heel Situation
🌼 Date: Friday, February 27, 2026
⚡ Energy: Running on Cough Syrup & Determination
❤️🩹 Status: Sniffly, Sore, but Properly Shod
🙄 Outlook: Hoping the Heels Heal So the Heels Can Return
Well… the cough has officially joined the party.
So now we’ve got:
• Sore throat
• Headache
• Cough
Good times. Truly living the dream over here.
Before we even talk about dinner, let’s discuss my homemade cough syrup — because if I’m going down, I’m going down flavorfully.
My go-to recipe is equal parts:
• Honey
• Whiskey
• Lemon juice
I usually mix about 4 tablespoons of each in a small glass jar and then add a couple teaspoons to a cup of hot lemon tea.
Feel free to customize to your liking.
Today all we had in the cupboard was peach whiskey (because apparently, we are fancy now), so I omitted the lemon juice and added some ground ginger instead.
In the past I’ve thrown in cinnamon. Sometimes cayenne pepper if I’m feeling bold. It really depends on my mood and what’s on hand.
Is it medically approved? Questionable.
Does it make me feel like I’m doing something productive? Absolutely.
Now — despite feeling like I swallowed a handful of gravel — Casey really wanted to go to our normal Friday night Mexican dinner. So once again, I got dressed and made the trek.
But here’s the headline:
For the first time in quite a while… I wore real shoes.
Not the Ugg slip-on platform clogs.
Not the memory foam cloud walkers.
Not the “these are the only things that don’t make me wince” footwear.
Actual shoes.
Lately I’ve been living in my Ugg clogs because my heels have been incredibly tender. And when I say tender, I mean the bottoms and backs of my heels feel bruised just from existing.
I’ve heard of bed sores. I don’t know if that’s technically what this is, but between lying in bed and sitting in my recliner for months, my heels have apparently decided they’ve had enough.
It doesn’t seem to matter:
• What lotion I use
• How much lotion I use
• What socks I wear
Nothing was helping.
So now I sleep with a pillow under my knees that I’ve strategically moved down so my feet don’t touch the bed.
There’s also a pillow under my legs in the recliner, so my heels don’t press into the cushion.
Because being fun sized means my legs are too short to let my feet hang over the edge of the chair.
Even my height is working against me.
The pillow situation is starting to help a bit, though. The tenderness isn’t quite as sharp as it was.
Which gives me hope.
Because if you know me, you know this isn’t just about comfort.
It’s about my shoes.
I never wear the same pair within the same couple of weeks. Certainly not in the same week. And absolutely never two days in a row.
The shoe police would be appalled at what has been happening over here for the past few months.
Same pair.
Every day.
Honestly, it’s a miracle I haven’t been cited.
So yes, tonight I wore real shoes.
And it felt like a tiny rebellion against cancer.
A tiny step (carefully placed) back toward myself.
The cough may be here.
The heels may be tender.
The energy may still be questionable.
But the shoes?
The shoes are slowly making a comeback.
And that feels like progress.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Double Fisted & On the Rocks
🌼 Date: Thursday, February 26, 2026
⚡ Energy: Under the Weather but Still Showing Up
💝 Status: Sniffly, Sore, and Slightly More Filled
🤕 Outlook: If I’m Going to Feel Crappy, I Might as Well Be Symmetrical
I woke up this morning with a sore throat and a headache.
Awesome.
As much as I’ve kept myself tucked safely inside my little chemo-recovery bubble, apparently “the ick” did not get the memo. It found me anyway.
Because of course it did.
All I wanted to do was stay in bed, burrow under the covers, and pretend the world didn’t exist. But I had a plastics appointment, so I pulled it together, got dressed, and went like the brave little trooper I am.
Sniffles and all.
Silver lining? I got another fill.
They added 50cc on each side, which now puts me at 465cc.
For those of you following along with the conversion chart at home, that’s 15.724 ounces.
But we’re calling it 16 ounces.
I like my drinks cold — everything is on the rocks — so that extra quarter ounce is in there somewhere. I’m sure of it.
Which means I am now proudly sporting a couple of pounders.
Or as my dad would say… lagers.
These, however, are significantly more expensive than anything you’d find at the Rumplestiltskin store. (Sorry folks, that’s an inside joke that goes way back.)
And yes — at this point I can officially say I am double fisted at all times.
A true two-fisted drinker.
Did I expect cancer recovery to turn me into walking bar humor?
No.
But here we are.
All jokes aside, it felt good to move forward again. Even if I had to do it with a scratchy throat and a pounding head. Even if my body is fighting on multiple fronts this week.
Healing isn’t linear.
Sometimes it’s chemo recovery.
Sometimes it’s mystery sore throats.
Sometimes it’s just showing up anyway.
Today I showed up.
Sniffly. Achy. Slightly heavier.
But still moving forward.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Humble Pie & Physical Therapy
🌼 Date: Wednesday, February 25, 2026
⚡ Energy: Fragile but Showing Up
❤️🩹 Status: Humbled, Healing, and Rebuilding
😔 Outlook: Strength Is Coming Back — Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It Yet
Today was physical therapy.
Confession: I have not been doing my exercises.
Not because I’m rebellious. Not because I don’t care. But because there have been days where all I could manage with my limited energy was moving my eyeballs and rotating my ankles in the recliner like that counted as cardio.
Survival has been the workout.
So imagine my surprise when she measured my range of motion in my arms and shoulders and… I’ve improved. Again.
Every visit, somehow, there’s progress.
Even when I feel like I’ve been doing nothing.
Apparently, my body has been quietly working behind the scenes without my permission.
This round of homework is to start building strength back up in my legs.
Goodbye, lipsky legs. We are coming for you.
But I had a mini breakdown while I was there.
Because numbers on a chart are one thing.
Saying out loud how weak I’ve become? That’s another.
It’s hard to look at your own body — the same body that used to stay out until 2AM and get up at 6AM without blinking — and admit that walking across a parking lot now requires strategy and support.
I’m not used to being this version of myself.
I’m used to being the one who gets shit done.
The one who carries the bags.
The one who moves fast.
The one who doesn’t need help.
This journey has been humbling in ways I never anticipated.
There’s a grief that comes with losing your strength — even temporarily. A quiet mourning for the body you had before cancer rearranged everything.
But here’s the complicated truth:
Even in the breakdown… there was progress.
Even in the weakness… there is rebuilding.
Even in the tears… there is forward motion.
I may not feel strong right now.
But strength is happening.
And maybe strength doesn’t always look like powering through.
Maybe sometimes it looks like showing up to PT, admitting you’re struggling, and trying anyway.
This is not the strongest version of me.
But she’s still here.
And she’s still fighting.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
The Slow Climb Back
🌼Date: Saturday, February 21, 2026 – Tuesday, February 24, 2026
⚡ Energy: Slowly Recharging (Very Slowly)
❤️ Status: Low Output, Minor Improvements
🙄 Outlook: Small Gains Still Count
Nothing big happened over these four days.
No appointments.
No celebrations.
No dramatic plot twists.
Just the slow, unglamorous work of healing.
My energy is still super low. The kind of low where you measure your day by how long you stayed upright. The kind where a shower feels like a commitment and folding laundry might as well be an Olympic sport.
But.
There is a small shift happening.
My appetite is finally starting to come back a little.
Not “let’s go out for steak and dessert” levels of appetite. Let’s not get crazy. But I am now eating two small meals a day. And I’m drinking more fluids than I have been.
That may not sound like much.
But when your body has been through months of chemo, surgery, medications, and side effects, two small meals feel like forward motion.
For weeks, food was just something I forced down because I knew I had to. Now I’m actually feeling hunger again. That feels… normal. And normal feels like progress.
I’m hoping this means my body is starting to use more calories to rebuild. Repairing cells. Restoring strength. Quietly working behind the scenes to put me back together.
Cancer recovery isn’t dramatic most days.
It’s incremental.
It’s invisible.
It’s celebrating things like:
• Finishing a full glass of water
• Eating without nausea
• Feeling a hint of hunger
• Staying awake past mid-afternoon
It’s not inspirational quotes and pink ribbons. It’s small wins that no one else would notice unless they’ve been here.
These days may not look like much from the outside.
But from where I’m sitting? They matter.
Because healing doesn’t always roar.
Sometimes it just whispers,
“Okay… we’re getting there.”
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Borrowed Balance & Mexican Food
🌼 Date: Friday, February 20, 2026
⚡ Energy: Low Battery, Minimal Output
❤️🩹 Status: Still Wobbly, Still Healing
😔 Outlook: Borrowing Strength Until Mine Comes Back
Nothing big happened today.
No appointments.
No milestones.
No dramatic wins.
Just healing.
Casey convinced me to go out for Mexican food tonight. And by “convinced,” I mean he gently encouraged me to leave the house and exist somewhere other than the recliner.
Sometimes that’s what love looks like.
Getting ready felt like preparing for a small expedition. Shoes on. Slow steps. Mental pep talk. And of course, securing my balance assistant — also known as my husband.
My legs are still not steady under me. The lipsky legs remain committed to the bit. So everywhere we go, I hold onto Casey’s arm.
Through the parking lot.
Into the restaurant.
Past the hostess stand.
I know he doesn’t mind.
He never hesitates. Never sighs. Never rushes me.
But every time I reach for his arm, it’s a reminder.
One more thing I can’t quite do on my own right now.
Independence has always been my thing. I’m used to being the one who carries things. Fixes things. Moves quickly. Gets it done.
Now I move carefully.
Measured.
Attached.
It’s humbling.
But here’s the other side of that coin — I’m not doing this alone.
There is something quiet and powerful about letting someone steady you. About allowing support instead of fighting for independence out of pride.
Dinner was simple. Chips. Salsa. Conversation. Me trying not to look like I just ran a marathon walking from the car.
And honestly? It was good to be out. Even if I needed an arm to do it.
Healing isn’t flashy right now. It’s small. It’s slow. It’s borrowing strength while my body rebuilds its own.
The legs will steady.
The stamina will return.
Until then, I’ll take the arm offered to me.
And the tacos.
Always the tacos.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Are We Getting Gidget a Sister?!
🌼 Date: Thursday, February 19, 2026
⚡ Energy: Operating on 12% Battery
💗 Status: Healing from the Inside, Dreaming of Puppy Kisses
😎 Outlook: Cautiously Hopeful (Pending Ivy League Admission Results)
Energy level today: still somewhere between recliner and horizontal.
My body is clearly still in full rebuild mode. No fireworks. No dramatic progress. Just quiet, behind-the-scenes healing happening at a cellular level.
However…
We may have found Gidget a sister.
Because apparently when I can’t physically run anywhere, my brain decides to run straight into adopting another dog.
We found the CUTEST little 3½-pound, 6-year-old baby girl at a shelter up in Seattle. Three and a half pounds. That’s not a dog — that’s a warm accessory.
Naturally, we’re now contemplating a road trip.
Seattle is about 3½ hours one way. So the big question becomes:
- Do we make it a mini vacay and stay the night?
- Or do we raw-dog it in one day with road snacks and optimism?
Before we even get to that part though… we must survive The Application.
When I say application, I mean we are essentially applying to an Ivy League university.
Three pages.
Essays.
References.
Photos required.
I’m fairly certain they want:
- Our life goals
- Our parenting philosophy
- A detailed outline of our backyard
- Possibly our childhood report cards
If we make it past the written exam, there is a phone or Zoom interview.
Yes. An interview.
If we survive THAT round, then — and only then — we are invited to drive to Seattle for a meet and greet.
At that point, if:
- We like her
- She likes us
- Gidget doesn’t file an official protest
Then we can pay the adoption fee and begin what I assume will be a document signing process comparable to purchasing a home.
“Initial here.”
“Sign here.”
“Date here.”
“And just a small drop of blood here for verification.”
Only THEN can we bring her home.
And yes — before anyone asks — I did my research this time. This is a legitimate, registered, legal organization. No shady Venmo deposits. No mystery parking lot exchanges. We are doing this the grown-up way.
Which honestly might be the most exhausting part of all of it.
So while my body is healing quietly and I’m still measuring my daily success by how many steps I can take without needing to sit down, we’re also dreaming about tiny paws and puppy breath.
Life looks different right now.
But maybe — just maybe — there’s room for a little 3½-pound spark of joy in the middle of all this healing.
Stay tuned.
We may be adding another diva to this household… which would officially make three.
Poor Casey.
Pray for him.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
415cc & A Very Expensive Milkshake
🌼 Date: Wednesday, February 18, 2026
⚡ Energy: Running on Fumes & Determination
💗 Status: 415cc & Still Standing – Barely
🤕 Outlook: Healing from the Inside Out
Today Casey had to drag me to my plastics appointment.
And when I say drag, I mean emotionally encourage, physically steady, and act as human guardrail.
The walk from the check-in kiosk upstairs to the doctor’s door felt like I was hiking a moderate incline in the Rockies. Normally it’s an easy stroll. Today? It took twice as long, and I had to hold onto Casey’s arm because my lipsky legs were not interested in participating in society.
By the time we reached the door, I was out of breath.
And there stood the nurse.
Door open.
Waiting.
Which tells me two things:
- walk very slowly right now.
- They have seen this before.
Chemo recovery is glamorous like that.
But! Victory moment — I was able to get a fill.
I am now up to 415cc.
For those of you doing the math at home, that’s just over 14 ounces.
Which means I am currently holding a Nesquick chocolate milk in each boob.
That’s right.
My milkshake officially brings all the boys to the yard.
Shout out to my 1.1% — IYKYK.
In all seriousness though, every fill feels like progress. It’s strange celebrating numbers tied to something that only exists because cancer barged into my life uninvited. But here we are. We take the wins where we can get them.
By the time we got home, I collapsed into my recliner like I had just completed an Olympic event titled Extreme Oncology Endurance Walking.
Dinner happened.
And then I was ready for bed.
Not “a little tired.”
Not “let’s watch one show.”
I mean body-shutting-down, system powering off, please-do-not-disturb ready for bed.
My body is using every ounce of available energy to heal itself from the inside out. White cells rebuilding. Tissues repairing. Systems recalibrating.
Which means I have nothing left for frivolous activities.
Like:
- Walking from the parking garage to the doctor’s office.
- Remaining upright without assistance.
- Staying awake past dinner.
- Existing with enthusiasm.
Life sure looks different now.
There was a time — not even that long ago — when I could stay out until 2AM and still get up at 6AM for work like it was nothing. Now I need a nap after brushing my teeth.
Cancer has a way of humbling you.
Reprioritizing you.
Rebuilding you.
And exhausting you.
Cancer sucks.
But healing? Healing is happening. Even when it looks like a recliner and an early bedtime.
And if my body needs every last drop of energy to fight from within, then that’s where it’s going.
The boys in the yard can wait.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
The Only Route I Ran This Week
🌼 Date: Wednesday, February 11, 2026 – Tuesday, February 17, 2026
⚡ Energy: Running on fumes, sarcasm, and stubborn survival.
😞 Status: Post-chemo crash. Body in revolt. Mouth staging a full protest. Legs currently identified as “Lipsky.”
🔮 Outlook: This is the ugly middle of healing — but it’s still healing. One wobbly step at a time.
I used to run bus routes.
This week?
The only route I ran was Bed → Couch → Bathroom → Couch → Bed.
No traffic. No passengers. No detours.
Just survival mode.
Nearly two weeks out from my last chemo infusion, and this final round absolutely kicked my ass. I had nothing left in the tank. If you saw me during this stretch, consider yourself special — it means you entered my extremely exclusive living room bubble.
I overheard someone say, “It must be nice to have five months off work.”
Oh.
Oh, honey.
Yes. Because cracked lips, mouth sores, dizziness, bone pain, and something called “chemo brain” are exactly how I prefer to spend my vacation time.
I won’t throw anyone under the bus.
But I will say this: nobody signs up for poison to get PTO.
There is nothing glamorous about this part. No inspirational music playing in the background. No slow-motion warrior walk. Just me, shuffling like a Victorian ghost through my house.
Speaking of shuffling…
In my quest to watch approximately everything on Netflix (a girl still needs goals), we stumbled across Poldark. There’s a character in there with knee problems they refer to as “Lipsky legs.”
Well friends, I now have Lipsky legs.
Between the dizziness and the complete lack of energy, my legs are not exactly dependable. They are more “suggestion” than structure. I stand up and we all just kind of hope for the best.
And then there’s my mouth.
The first week after chemo always brings mouth sores. This time? We did a greatest hits remix.
• Severely chapped lips
• Corners of my mouth cracked so I can’t open wide
• The inside of my cheeks and roof of my mouth feel like sandpaper with bonus texture
• Large bumps on the side of my tongue that I try not to bite
• New surprise feature: sores under my tongue so lifting it to form words feels like an Olympic event
Now pair that with chemo brain — where the word you’re looking for simply evaporates mid-sentence — and what you get is me sounding like I’m buffering in real life.
It’s humbling.
It’s frustrating.
It’s isolating.
And it is absolutely not a vacation.
This week wasn’t about bravery or bell ringing or milestone moments.
It was about endurance. It was about letting my body fall apart quietly so it can (hopefully) rebuild.
Sometimes healing looks like productivity.
Sometimes healing looks like pajamas all day.
This was a pajama week.
But here’s the thing — even when it feels like nothing is happening, something is. My body is recalibrating. Repairing. Trying to remember what “normal” feels like.
The world got very small this week.
And surviving that small world?
That was enough.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Taco Tuesday & The Final Chemo Fiesta
🌼 Date: Tuesday, February 10, 2026
⚡ Energy: Artificially Enhanced (Thank You, Steroids)
💗 Status: Pink Princess on Parade
🥳 Outlook: Celebrating the Win Before the Crash
The day after chemo is a strange place to exist.
Technically, poison is coursing through your veins… but thanks to steroids, you feel like you could reorganize your entire house, start a small business, and train for a 5K — all before lunch.
So, when Taco Tuesday rolled around, I felt good enough to leave the house. That alone felt like a victory.
What I did not know… was that I was walking into a setup.

Apparently, while I was just trying to eat tacos like a normal human, there was a small army of coworkers and family members plotting behind my back.
When I walked in — there they were.

My work family.
Both of my aunts.
Pink decorations.
Flowers.
Cupcakes.
Balloons.
And one balloon with my name on it.
Because if you’re going to survive your final round of chemo, you might as well have your name floating above your head like royalty.
The table and chairs were decked out in pink (obviously), and I was handed a pink crown to wear — because apparently, I am now chemo royalty.
Honestly? I’ll take it.

One of my friends brought me a stuffed puppy (which is clearly emotional support material), and my aunt made me a crocheted pink crown and the most beautiful crystal globe with a glittery rose inside and my name on it. It sparkles. It’s dramatic. It’s completely extra.
Just like me.
Most of these faces I haven’t seen since I went out for surgery in October. Seeing them all sitting there… smiling… celebrating me… it hit in a way I wasn’t prepared for.
I miss my work family.

I miss normal.
For one evening, between tacos and cupcakes and pink balloons, I got to feel something other than patient. I got to feel like Tina again.
Steroids may have been doing half the heavy lifting, but the love in that room? That was real.
And even though I had no idea what the next week would bring (spoiler alert: couch + lipsky legs + chemo chaos), I am so grateful I had that night.
We celebrated the end of something brutal.
And that matters.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Ringing the Bell, Cocked Shoulders, and One Final Cocktail of Doom
🌼 Date: Monday, February 09, 2026
⚡ Energy: Tender, overwhelmed, and stronger than I feel.
🧠 Status: Final chemo in the books. Running on fumes, gratitude, and a whole lot of love.
🔮 Outlook: This road isn’t finished, but the hardest climb is behind me — and I know how to keep going.
Chemo Day.
The last one.
Let that sink in for a second.
My day started off exactly how any good bus driver’s brain starts a day — on time or bust. We arrived at plastics right on schedule because that’s how I’m wired. You’re either early or you’re late and late throws off the entire route. Unfortunately, plastics had other plans and decided today was the day to test my patience… and my heart rate.
Thirty-five minutes behind schedule.
Between being on my third dose of steroids and watching the clock tick closer to my 11:00 chemo appointment across town, my body went into full “flight mode.” When they took my vitals, my heart rate was 121 beats per minute.
Apparently, I was prepared to sprint directly out of my own skin.
Once they realized I had chemo to get to, it was all business. No fluff. No chatting. Just wham, bam, thank you ma’am.
Another 50cc fill on each side, bringing me to 365cc total — which translates to 12.34 ounces. That’s a full can of Coke plus a swig.
Look at me, moving up my drink sizes like a seasoned pro. 🥤
I’m still not thrilled that my left side sits farther back than the right. Same amount of fluid, different realities. The larger tumor on the left pushed everything deeper into the chest wall, which explains the extra scraping, the not-so-clear margins, and why radiation is next on that side only. The right side? Smaller tumor, clean margins, no radiation.
I’ll take the wins where I can get them.
My plastic surgeon reassured me — again — that when reconstruction time comes, she’ll make them match. Adjust the pocket, tweak the size, work her magic. That surgery won’t be until at least six months after radiation, when my skin is cooperative again. So… maybe November-ish. Which feels like forever when you’re walking around with two obviously different-sized boobs.
Casey, ever the problem solver, suggested I simply enter rooms with my shoulders cocked so the smaller boob goes in first.
Problem solved. Chiropractor on speed dial.
Despite everything, traffic was kind, and we even had time to stop for a Jamba Juice with added protein — one of my favorite little splurges. Small joys matter.
Then came the big one.
We made it across town on time for my final chemo infusion. My veins behaved (thank you, veins), I remembered to ask for an extra bag of hydration, and the appointment itself went smoothly. The hydration might help with the dizziness and ringing in my ears, and if not, at least it won’t hurt.


But emotionally?
This one hit differently.
Chemo scared me from the very beginning — not because I didn’t think I was strong enough, but because I watched my son go through it three times. His treatments were far more intense than mine, and he handled every single one like an absolute warrior. Still, watching someone you love endure that kind of fight changes you.
Chemo felt like another mountain I wasn’t sure I could climb. And the truth is, I couldn’t have climbed it alone. Not even close. Without the support system I’ve been blessed with — my family, my friends, my people — there is zero chance I would be sitting here writing this today.
And then…
I rang the bell.

The sound of it wasn’t just metal. It was relief. It was fear leaving my body. It was gratitude. It was exhaustion. It was pride. It was grief for what this journey has taken, and hope for what’s still ahead.
I did it.
Chemo is done.
Not the end of the journey — but the end of this chapter.
And damn… what a chapter it’s been.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Super Bowl Sunday: Meh, Meh, and a Cleaning Fairy
🌼 Date: Sunday, February 8, 2026
⚡ Energy: Reserved. Protected. Intentionally spent on nothing.
💗 Status: Resting with snacks and opinions.
🏈 Outlook: Some wins had nothing to do with football.
Today was Super Bowl Sunday.
Now, we don’t actually watch football during the season, but the Super Bowl is different. We tune in for the commercials and the halftime show, like many people do. It’s supposed to be fun. Entertaining. A little over-the-top.
Well… let’s just say my expectations were not met.
The halftime show left me wondering why I committed to watching the entire thing. I kept waiting for something exciting to happen, or at least for more than about 20 seconds in English. But nope. Mostly confusion. At the time, I had zero clue what was going on.
Afterward, I read about what the performer was trying to portray through the storyline, and sure—it made more sense then. But honestly, that would have been helpful information before I sat there squinting at the TV wondering if I missed something important.
And then there were the commercials.
I kept waiting for the good ones. The kind we used to talk about the next day. Pepsi. Budweiser. And yes—the frogs sitting on the log (Bud… Weis… Er…). Those were classics.
This year?
Meh.
We Googled how much an ad costs now, and apparently, they started at $8 million. In my humble opinion, some of those companies absolutely wasted their money.
Of course, we still cheered for the Seahawks, because Pacific Northwest loyalty runs deep—even when they’re not playing.
But the very best part of my day had nothing to do with football.
Marnie the cleaning fairy paid another visit before the game and worked her magic. The house felt lighter, calmer, and more put together—things I simply don’t have the energy to manage right now.
And as a bonus? She brought dinner with her when she came back to watch the game.
I officially did nothing today. No chores. No productivity. No pushing through. I let my body rest—on purpose—because I know what’s coming tomorrow.
Today was about conserving energy, accepting help, and letting the world spin without me for a few hours.
And that?
Was exactly what I needed.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Breaking Up with the Vampires
🌼 Date: Saturday, February 7, 2026
⚡ Energy: Thin… but still holding.
💗 Status: Drained, tested, and somehow still standing.
🧪 Outlook: Cleared for the final stretch.
Today I paid my final visit to the vampires at the lab.
In order for the pharmacists to prepare the correct cocktail of radioactivity for my next infusion, I have to get blood work done 24–48 hours beforehand. Rules are rules, even when you’re already running on fumes.
This kind of blood draw isn’t just a quick poke and go. They usually take three to four vials, which to a normal person probably doesn’t sound like much. But when your body is already working with next to nothing, every little bit feels precious.
Each time they clicked another vial onto the end of the hose, I swear I could feel the life draining out of me. Dramatic? Maybe. Accurate? Absolutely.
Still—this was the last time for this particular type of draw, and I am deeply grateful for that.
As the results started trickling in, I braced myself. And honestly? It could have been worse. I was only severely low in a couple of spots. One of them, of course, being my white blood cell count.
Which explains why, on days 3–7 after chemo, I get the pleasure of giving myself Granix shots.
Ah yes. The super fun growth hormone injections that tell my bone marrow, “Hey buddy, wake up—time to make some white blood cells.” Which it does… loudly… and painfully… by triggering some pretty intense bone pain.
Good times ahead.
But here’s the thing—I’m still cleared. Still moving forward. Still on track for the final round. My body may be tired, depleted, and slightly annoyed at me, but it’s showing up.
And so am I.
One more lab visit crossed off. One more step closer to the end of this chapter. And one less appointment where someone literally siphons off what little I have left.
Worth celebrating.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Friday Night, Full Circle
🌼 Date: Friday, February 6, 2026
⚡ Energy: Low physically. Full emotionally.
💗 Status: Healing… and happily interrupted.
🌮 Outlook: Connection makes everything better.
Today was another one of those healing days. The kind where my body made it very clear that rest—not productivity—was the assignment. No energy, no momentum, no getting things done.
And then the door opened.
Tonight, we were surprised by a couple of guests who showed up for Friday night Mexican food—one of my top three all-time favorite trainees and his wife. And just like that, the day shifted.
I absolutely love getting to catch up with my drivers outside of work. Training doesn’t stop mattering once the test is passed—it evolves. And I’ve always believed that the best training isn’t just about rules, routes, or procedures.
It’s about belonging.
I’m one of the few trainers who genuinely forms relationships with new drivers during training. I do it intentionally. In a team of around 200 people, it’s incredibly easy to feel overwhelmed, invisible, or like you’re standing outside the circle wondering how to get in.
I never want that for my people.
I want every new driver to feel like they’ve made it inside the circle—right from the beginning. Sometimes that means training takes a little longer. Sometimes it means more conversation, more storytelling, more connection than what’s technically required.
And I’m okay with that.
Because those early bonds matter more than meeting a deadline.
They build trust. They give people a safe place to ask questions, to admit struggles, to seek advice before problems get bottled up and turn into something bigger. And as a bonus? It helps retain great drivers—because they know they’re seen, supported, and not alone.
Every time we lose a good driver, I feel it deeply. Like in some way, I let them down.
Regardless of age, my trainees all become a little bit like my kids. And when each one of them passes their test—on the first try, I might add—I get that proud mom feeling every single time.
So tonight, sitting around the table with John and Michelle, catching up and laughing, felt like a full-circle moment. I realized how much I’ve missed those conversations—the ones that used to feel off-topic, but somehow always tied back to training, life, and learning in the end.
Maybe it wasn’t wasted time after all.
Tonight was a reminder of why I do what I do. Why relationships matter. And why even on days when my body is exhausted, my heart still shows up.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Healthy Enough to Be Slightly Killed
🌼 Date: Thursday, February 5, 2026
⚡ Energy: Cautiously functional.
💗 Status: Cleared for controlled chaos.
☢️ Outlook: One last round—let’s do this.
Today was my oncology check-in—the appointment where they decide if I’m healthy enough for my final round of chemotherapy next week.
You know.
The appointment where they check to see if my body is strong enough for them to try to kill me again.
It will never stop being funny to me that I have to be “healthy enough” to be slightly killed. Strange sense of humor these doctors have.
We started with the rundown of side effects since my last visit and let me tell you—my mouth has been on a real adventure tour.
After round one, I had small white sores on the insides of my cheeks and the bottom of my lip.
Round two said, “Hold my beer,” and gave me severely chapped lips that split—corners included—to the point where I couldn’t open my mouth wide enough to eat anything thicker than a single piece of bread.
Round three? Oh, that one brought bumps sticking out of the right side of my tongue, which of course meant I bit them every time I ate anything. As a bonus, my bottom lip felt like I’d eaten something outrageously spicy… and then just stayed on fire for nearly two weeks.
All different. All unpleasant. All very creative.
Naturally, I’m now wondering what round four has planned for me.
Surprise me, I guess.
Then we moved on to bowel movements. Yes, TMI—but I promised to share the good, the bad, and the ugly, and this is firmly in the ugly category.
I am either constipated or I have the runs. There is no in-between. No happy medium. Just extremes. My counter currently hosts three or four different medications to manage either scenario.
After much trial and error, I have discovered my MVPs:
– Miralax mixed with Gatorade for constipation
– Kaopectate Soft Chews for the runs
Not sponsored. Just experienced.
We also talked about the dizziness I’ve been having and the ringing in my ears. She confirmed that both are completely normal and expected—and also explained (again) why I’m still not cleared to drive.
Driving feels like a distant memory at this point. Like a skill I used to have in another lifetime.
But here’s the good news: she answered all my questions, reassured me that everything I’m experiencing is normal, and officially gave me the all clear to keep my appointment on Monday at 11:00 for my final dose of radioactivity.
That sentence still feels wild to type.
One last round. One last push. One more step toward the other side of this.
Healthy enough.
Honest enough.
And somehow still standing.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Healing Days and Pink-Bow Joy
🌼 Date: Wednesday, February 4, 2026
⚡ Energy: Low… but learning to respect it.
💗 Status: Healing, resting, and unexpectedly spoiled.
🌸 Outlook: Sometimes the smallest surprises mean the most.
Today was another low-energy day. At this point, I think we should stop calling them low-energy and start calling them what they really are: healing days.
These are the days where my body is clearly busy behind the scenes—repairing, restoring, recalibrating—while I’m just along for the ride. Not accomplishing much. Not fixing anything. Just being.
And yes, that still feels weird.
But then today surprised me.
My Aunt Dee showed up with the sweetest little gift: another hat. And not just any hat—a pink, crocheted beauty topped with the most adorable bow you’ve ever seen. Cozy, soft, and somehow perfectly me.
It was one of those moments where the gift itself is lovely, but the feeling behind it is what really gets you. Being thought of. Being cared for. Being reminded that even on the quiet, uneventful days, love still finds its way to you.
I put it on and immediately felt a little brighter. A little more myself. Proof that joy doesn’t always arrive loudly—sometimes it shows up stitched together with love and a perfectly placed bow.

So today may not have been productive by old standards. I didn’t organize, fix, or accomplish anything noteworthy. But I healed. I rested. And I felt cared for.
And honestly? That’s more than enough.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
From Mini Cans to Grape Juice Bottles
🌼 Date: Tuesday, February 3, 2026
⚡ Energy: Surprisingly upbeat. Mildly impressed. Still skeptical.
💗 Status: Filling, healing, and moving on up.
🌤️ Outlook: Progress is happening—even when I argue with it.
Today was another plastics appointment, and I’m officially moving on up in the world.
I got a 50cc fill on each side, which puts me at 315cc total. For those of you who, like me, need a visual to really appreciate progress, that’s 10.66 ounces—roughly a gulp more than one of those Welch’s grape juice bottles with the screw top.
You know the one.
So yes. From Capri Sun… to mini cans… and now grape juice bottles.
Look at me go. 🍇😄
What really surprised me though was the news about the hole (yes, still calling it that). Apparently, it’s continuing to fill itself in nicely—noticeably so—every single week. And this is happening even though I’m on chemo, which is notorious for slowing down healing.
The doctor was genuinely impressed.
Me?
I was like… ummm, I’m almost four months post-op—shouldn’t this already be filled in by now?
Because of course I was.
I am not good at being the one who needs fixing. I’m the fixer. The problem-solver. The one who gets things done and helps everyone else along. Sitting in the patient chair while my body works on its own timeline feels… uncomfortable.
Even when that timeline is actually doing pretty damn well.
So today was a lesson in perspective. Yes, healing is slower than I want. Yes, I wish my body would hurry up and cooperate already. But the truth is—it is healing. Consistently. Steadily. Against the odds.
And apparently, impressively.
So I’ll take the win. I’ll take the grape juice bottle milestone. And I’ll keep reminding myself that progress doesn’t stop being progress just because it isn’t finished yet.
Still fixing things—just starting with me.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
You Showed Up — And That Means Everything
🌼 Date: Monday, February 2, 2026
⚡ Energy: Low physically. Overflowing emotionally.
💗 Status: Humbled. Grateful. A little in awe.
🌍 Outlook: Connection travels farther than I ever imagined.
Today I sat staring at numbers on a screen, and somehow, they didn’t feel like numbers at all.
They felt like people.
We checked the blog today and realized that this little corner of the internet—this place where I’ve been showing up raw, tired, bald, honest, and unfiltered—has reached 1,673 views, 569 individual visitors, from 17 different countries.
Seventeen.

(All of the countries highlighted in pink are where my visitors have come from!)
Here is a breakdown based on which country has the highest visitor count, not alphabetical (for those of you who know me, you know what a struggle this list will be!)
United States
Brazil
Canada
India
United Kingdom
Sweden
Netherlands
South Korea
Pakistan
Ireland
Germany
Turkey
Thailand
Saudi Arabia
Norway
Lithuania
China
Let that sink in for a second.
Somewhere out there, people I will likely never meet are reading my words. Sitting with them. Feeling something in them. Maybe recognizing themselves in a moment I thought was mine alone.
And that floors me.
To every single person who has stopped by—whether you read one post, or all of them, whether you stayed quietly or reached out—you matter. You showed up. And in a season where my world sometimes feels very small, that kind of presence means more than I can explain.
We did promise you a video.
And yes… we absolutely still owe you one.
Right now, my energy is pretty much nonexistent. Chemo has taken most of what I’ve got, and what’s left I’m spending carefully. But please know this: a Day does not back out of a promise. It might take a little time. It might take a few false starts. But it will happen.
Because this community—you—deserve that.
Thank you for reading.
Thank you for witnessing.
Thank you for reminding me that even on the hardest days, connection is still possible.
From the bottom of my very full heart—thank you for being here.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Full Circles and Tiny Heartbeats
🌼 Date: Sunday, February 1, 2026
⚡ Energy: Tender. Joyful. Quietly full.
💗 Status: Reconnected and unexpectedly emotional.
🌞 Outlook: Proof that good things keep happening.
Tonight reminded me that life has a funny way of bringing people back when you need them most.
We met up for dinner with a couple of friends we love dearly—friends we sadly lost touch with after our oldest daughter moved out a few years ago. Not because anything bad happened… just life. Busy schedules. Shifting seasons. The slow drift that no one plans for.
One unexpected gift cancer has given me is this: it has a way of pulling people back into your orbit. And when that happens, you grab it. You don’t wait. You say yes.
So tonight, we did.
It was so good to actually sit down together, unhurried, and really catch up. We had seen them briefly at the head-shaving party in December, but with so many people there, the moments were short and scattered. Tonight felt different. Intentional. Warm. Like no time had passed at all.
And then there was the news.
They’re expecting.
Let me just say—they are the cutest dang pregnant couple I have ever seen. I could not stop smiling. I was absolutely gushing over them, the kind of gushing that surprised even me. Somewhere between the appetizers and the conversation, I realized I felt like a proud momma—beaming, excited, and completely in awe of this beautiful thing unfolding in front of us.
New life. New beginnings. Tiny heartbeats still to come.
In the middle of my own season of healing, it was incredibly grounding to witness something so hopeful, so full of promise. A reminder that life doesn’t pause for hardship—it keeps growing, keeps expanding, keeps making room for joy.
Tonight was more than dinner.
It was connection.
It was celebration.
It was a full circle moment I didn’t know I needed.
And my heart is better for it.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Love Looks Like Clean Floors
🌼 Date: Saturday, January 31, 2026
⚡ Energy: Borrowed. Conserved. Protected.
💗 Status: Held up by the kindness of others.
🌞 Outlook: Grateful beyond words.
Today was one of those days where my body made the rules—and the rules were absolutely no energy allowed.
I had zero strength. Zero motivation. Zero chance of getting anything meaningful done around the house. Even the smallest tasks felt impossibly heavy, and just moving from room to room felt like too much.
And then… help showed up.
My friend Marnie came over and did house cleaning for me, and I cannot even begin to explain what that meant. She didn’t just clean—she lifted a weight I didn’t have the strength to carry. Floors were cleaned. Things were put in order. The house felt lighter, calmer, more breathable.
And so did I.
It’s humbling to need help like this. I’ve always been capable, independent, the one who gets things done. Asking for—or accepting—help doesn’t come naturally to me. But chemo has a way of stripping things down to what really matters.
And what matters is this:
Love sometimes shows up with a mop, a vacuum, and no expectation of anything in return.
Today reminded me that even when I can’t do the things I want to do, I’m still surrounded by people who show up for me anyway. People who see what I need before I even say it out loud.
So today wasn’t productive in the traditional sense.
But it was full.
Full of kindness.
Full of support.
Full of reminders that I’m not doing this alone.
Thank you, Marnie. More than you know.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
The Lost Hours Are Still Healing
🌼 Date: Friday, January 30, 2026
⚡ Energy: Foggy. Drained. Intermittently functional.
❤️🩹 Status: Present… just not firing on all cylinders.
😞 Outlook: Learning to trust the pause.
Today I learned that time can disappear without asking permission.
I woke up with the intention of getting today’s post done early. I even told myself that was the plan. But instead, I found myself sitting in my chair—staring, thinking, not thinking, drifting—and suddenly three or four hours were just… gone.
Not slept through.
Not productive.
Just gone.
And here’s the thing—this is not who I’ve ever been.
At work, I was known as the multitasker. The one who could juggle five things at once while others were still trying to get one task finished. I could answer questions, solve problems, keep projects moving, and somehow still be three steps ahead. Chaos never scared me—it fueled me.
Even at home, I don’t just sit.
When I’m “relaxing,” my hands are busy—knitting, crocheting, coloring, writing, doing puzzles or word searches on my phone. Some people would say that doesn’t sound relaxing at all, but for me, it’s how I shut my brain off. Because if my hands are still, my brain starts making lists.
I should get the dishwasher ready to run before bed.
I should throw in another load of laundry.
The counters need to be wiped down with antibacterial spray.
I should lay out my clothes for tomorrow.
The mental to-do list never shuts up.
Multitasking is how I quiet it.
Except right now… I can’t even single task.
My brain feels like it’s wrapped in cotton. Thoughts come in slowly, line up awkwardly, then wander off before they finish their sentence. I keep setting out to do something simple, only to forget what that thing was halfway there.
And that’s terrifying.
This version of me—the one who can’t focus, can’t track time, can’t keep her hands or mind busy—doesn’t feel like me. Tina is a doer. A fixer. A finisher. She doesn’t sit in a chair watching hours evaporate.
Except… today she does.
Because today, my body and brain are still working overtime behind the scenes. Healing. Processing. Recovering from chemo. Recovering from grief. Recovering from the loss of the woman who could do all the things without thinking twice.
So maybe those “lost” hours weren’t wasted after all.
Maybe they were spent repairing things I can’t see yet.
Today wasn’t exciting. It wasn’t productive by old standards. But I showed up. I stayed upright. I listened to my body instead of fighting it.
And right now, that has to count.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Umbrellas, Princess Paws, and the Gift of Boring
🌼 Date: Thursday, January 29, 2026
⚡ Energy: Low, conserved, intentionally spent.
💗 Status: Rainy day. Full heart. Very small victories.
🌤️ Outlook: Turns out “boring” is a luxury.
Today was one of those days where not much happened—and honestly? That felt like a gift.
I spent most of the day planted firmly in my recliner with Miss Gidget glued to my side like she was on permanent emotional-support duty. The rain came and went all day, and as it turns out, Miss Gidge does not care for rain. At all. The hazards of being both a low rider and a princess.
So what does her mommy do?
She grabs the golf umbrella, of course.
There I was—standing outside in the drizzle, holding an umbrella over both myself and the princess so that only the very bottoms of her tiny royal feet had to touch the wet ground while she did her business. Because obviously. We have standards in this house.
Other than that, today was all about energy conservation mode. Rest when needed. Move when necessary. Listen to my body instead of arguing with it (still learning that part). I saved what little energy I had for the important stuff.
Like dinner.
Casey helped me cook, and our bestie Marnie came over to eat with us. No big plans. No special occasion. Just dinner, conversation, and TV afterward. The kind of night that would have once felt boring, forgettable, or “not productive enough.”
Now?
I treasure it.
An uncomplicated evening.
No appointments.
No cancer talk.
No countdowns or calendars.
Just food, laughter, comfort, and normal.
This—this—is my new normal. And while it looks different than the life I had before cancer, tonight reminded me that normal doesn’t have to be flashy or exciting to be meaningful.
Sometimes normal is a dog who won’t pee in the rain, a friend at your table, and a quiet night that asks nothing of you.
And that’s more than enough.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Home Where He Belongs
🌼 Date: Wednesday, January 28, 2026
⚡ Energy: Tender. Heavy. Love-soaked.
💔 Status: Grief came back in waves – and so did peace.
🌞 Outlook: Some endings are also homecomings.
Today we got the phone call telling us that Mr. Momo was ready to be picked up.
And just like that, the grief came rushing back—thick, sudden, and familiar. The sadness. The ache. The tears that live just under the surface waiting for permission. But woven into it all was something unexpected too… a quiet sense of relief, even a touch of excitement, knowing we finally got to bring him home.
Home to be with his brothers.
When we arrived at the vet, they handed us a bag—and inside were a few surprises that completely undid us.
Momo’s ashes were placed in the most beautiful wooden box, engraved with his name. Solid. Warm. Dignified. Like him.
There was also a ceramic cast of his tiny puppy paw, his name etched beneath it, frozen forever in time. And a handwritten card—thoughtful, gentle, and full of care.
Casey and I lost it.
Full-on tears. No holding back. The kind of crying that comes from loving something so deeply it rearranges you.
Anyone who still believes dogs are “just dogs” has either never loved one this way—or has never let themselves. Our fur babies are not accessories or companions; they are family. They are children of a different kind. They show up for us on the hardest days, love us without conditions, and leave paw prints that never fade.
Momo is home now.
His ashes sit with his brothers on the entertainment center, where he belongs. Where he’s loved. Where he’s remembered. Where he’s still part of us.
Run free, sweet boy.
You were—and always will be—so very loved💖

💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Taco Tuesday, Minus the Tacos
🌼 Date: Tuesday, January 27, 2026
⚡ Energy: Socially present. Physically irritated.
💔 Status: Chemo mouth is choosing violence.
🌞 Outlook: Doing what I can, eating what I can, and calling that a win.
Last night was Taco Tuesday — our usual one — with Uncle Dan, Aunt Patti, Matt from work, and our bestie Marnie, who is basically part of the standing reservation at this point.
And for a couple of hours?
It felt normal.
Just sitting there, talking, laughing, being out in the world without cancer running the conversation. I didn’t realize how much I needed that until I was in it.
Unfortunately, my mouth had other plans.
This round of chemo has brought mouth sores back with a new twist. Instead of just sore spots, I’ve got raised sores protruding out the side of my tongue — which means not only does it hurt to eat, not only does everything taste weird or barely taste at all, but I now have the added bonus of biting my swollen tongue on the right side with nearly every bite.
Super fun.
Highly recommend. 🙄
So while everyone else was enjoying actual Mexican food, I ordered a strawberry banana smoothie and French fries from the kids’ menu.
Not exactly Taco Tuesday vibes — but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Everything I eat this round feels like it tears my mouth up a little more. And my lips? Chapped like the first two rounds, but now with the exciting enhancement of feeling like I just ate something wildly spicy. All the time. Constant burn. No relief.
It doesn’t matter how much lip chap — yes, lip chap, because that’s what my kids called everything — I slather on. Nothing touches it. All I can do is ride it out.
The cruel joke is that by week three after chemo, the symptoms magically disappear. I start to feel human again. And then — surprise — it’s chemo week all over again, and the relief evaporates.
Good times.
Still, sitting there last night with people I love, drinking my smoothie, picking at fries, and pretending this was just another Tuesday? That mattered.
Sometimes normal doesn’t look like it used to.
Sometimes normal comes with a straw and a kids’ menu.
And honestly?
I’ll take it.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
From Capri Sun to Mini Cans
🌼 Date: Monday, January 26, 2026
⚡ Energy: Noticeably better. Slightly amused.
💗 Status: Healing, filling, and less pokey than last week.
🧐 Outlook: Cautiously optimistic — and curious about what next week brings.
Today was a much better day.
I had a plastics appointment, and for the first time since my double mastectomy back in October, I actually saw my plastic surgeon and remembered it. Truth be told, I don’t recall seeing her much before surgery — everything moved fast and then I was being wheeled away.
Casey swears I saw her at my one-week post-op appointment too, but I was still deep in pain-med fog, because I have zero memory of that.
This time though? Fully awake. Fully present.
And the news was really good.
She was super excited with how my hole is filling in and how my scars are healing — even on chemo, even with all the nonsense my body has been through. That felt like a big deal.
Then came the fill.
Not only did I get filled — I got 75cc.
My biggest fill yet. 🥳🎉
That brings me to 265cc, which is about 8.96 fluid ounces — basically a mini can of soda. You know, those cute little 8-oz cans. Not a full 12-oz regular can yet, but definitely a step up from Capri Sun territory.
Progress.
And because she’s the plastic surgeon (aka wizard with a medical license), she also worked on the still-pokey corners that have been trying to break through my skin like some kind of low-budget alien movie. Between the fill and her massaging and manipulating things, she was able to smooth the edges out so they’re less sharp and less determined to escape my body.
Huge improvement.
Hopefully this means we’re officially on a positive track — maybe even weekly fills if my body cooperates. It’ll be interesting to see how many cc’s it takes to really smooth everything out.
For now, though, I’m walking around with two mini cans on my chest, and honestly? I’ll take it.
I can’t wait to see what next week brings.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
The Woman in the Mirror: Assigned This Mountain
🌼 Date: Sunday, January 25, 2026
⚡ Energy: Empty. Drained to the studs.
🖤 Status: Day 4 of Granix. Zero strength. Zero fuel.
🤬 Outlook: Angry. Honest. Still standing.
Today required strength I simply did not have.
Even putting my recliner down took leg power that wasn’t there. That alone felt like a gut punch—another reminder of how far my body is from the woman I used to be.
But the real blow came when I walked past the bathroom mirror.
I didn’t recognize her.
She was bald.
Her face was gaunt.
She no longer stood with confidence.
Her skin didn’t look fresh or supple anymore.
And her chest…
What used to be beautiful, round, life-giving breasts are now two nipple-less mounds that barely resemble what they once were. Different sizes. Sharp edges. Sunken places where tumors once lived. Scars that scream don’t look at me—and definitely don’t touch me.
What once nourished my children now feels like part of some sick, twisted science experiment.
I stopped looking.
What was the point?
It’s not going to get better right now.
And I am angry.
So damn angry at cancer.
I hate what it has taken from my body.
From my brain.
From my sense of self.
People tell me this will pass.
That I’m strong.
That by this time next year it will all be behind me.
I know they mean well.
But most of them have never had cancer.
They haven’t stood in front of a mirror and met this version of themselves.
They haven’t had to grieve their body while still living inside it.
So today, I let myself be mad.
And then—somewhere between the anger and the exhaustion—it hit me:
Maybe this is my mountain.
And maybe I was assigned it not because it’s easy…
but to show others that it can be moved.
Even when the climb looks impossible.
Even when the mirror hurts.
Even when strength feels gone.
I’m still here.
And that counts for something.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
A Quiet Visit from Bryan
🌼 Date: Saturday, January 24, 2026
⚡ Energy: Low, steady, tender
❤️🩹 Status: Chemo week + Granix reality, wrapped in meaning
😌 Outlook: Finding signs, even on the quiet days
This morning started with an unexpected gift.
While sitting inside, moving slowly and letting my body wake up at its own pace, I noticed movement in the backyard. A momma deer and her baby had decided that our yard was a perfectly acceptable breakfast spot. They stood there calmly, eating, existing, completely unbothered by the world.

And it stopped me in my tracks.

For those who don’t know, the deer is our late son Bryan’s spirit animal. I carry him with me always – quite literally – tattooed on my leg in his memory. Seeing a mom and her baby deer together, so peaceful and present, felt like one of those moments that doesn’t need explanation. It just is. A quiet hello. A reminder. A soft hand on my shoulder saying, “I’m here.”

The rest of the day followed the now-familiar rhythm of chemo week one. Granix shot – check. Bone pain, especially in my knees – check. Fatigue that settles deep into your bones and refuses to be ignored – also check. The recliner continues to be my primary residence, my safe place, my command center for resting, snoozing, and surviving.
It wasn’t an exciting day. It wasn’t productive by old Tina standards. But it was meaningful. Gentle. Grounded. And today, that counts.
Sometimes the biggest moments don’t come with noise or fanfare. Sometimes they show up quietly in your backyard, eat your grass, and remind you that love never really leaves.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Cold to the Bone, Warmed by Love
🌼 Date: Friday, January 23, 2026
⚡ Energy: Critically low. Recliner-based.
💔 Status: Day two of Granix and my bones are officially filing complaints.
😑 Outlook: Surviving on warmth, love, and very small victories.
Today was low energy on a cellular level.
Day two of the Granix shots, and my body made sure I felt it. The bone pain showed up loud and proud, mostly camping out in my knees like they had personally offended the medication and were now being punished for it.
So, I surrendered.
Recliner.
Ice on my knees.
Heated blanket cranked up. (Shout-out to Chelsea and Tiler for the hug of warmth.)
And somehow… I was still cold.
Not cute chilly. Not “grab a sweater” cold. This was bone-deep, marrow-level, nothing touches it cold. I layered up like a human nesting doll — fuzzy socks on my feet (huge shout-out to Darlene and Chelsea for finding these gems), a hat on my bald head, a sweater over my silky pajamas (which really do trap heat), all under my heated blanket… plus another blanket on top of that one.
Hot tea all day long. Inside and outside warming attempts fully engaged.
Nothing helped.
Is it chemo? Is it the nearly 30 pounds I’ve lost since October? No idea. All I know is that even typing this, I keep thinking I should’ve grabbed my fingerless gloves. Typing with my hands tucked under the heated blanket isn’t exactly efficient, so I took mini warm-up breaks and carried on.
Most of the day was spent snoozing in my chair with Gidget glued to my lap, only getting up to pee or find a snack — which brings me to the not-so-fun part.
I have no appetite.
Between mouth sores, chemo messing with taste (or removing it entirely), and the sheer exhaustion of chewing, eating feels like a task my body has zero interest in. And yet, I know the cruel irony: protein would help. Food would help. Strength comes from eating — but eating takes strength.
Vicious cycle, unlocked.
Tonight was our usual Friday night Mexican food dinner out, and a couple of longtime friends joined us. Even though I didn’t want much, I tried. And Casey — sweet man that he is — kept gently saying, “Just one more bite, baby… you haven’t eaten much today.” He watches out for me in ways I don’t always have the energy to do myself.
Today wasn’t productive.
It wasn’t brave.
It wasn’t strong in the way I usually define strong.
But I showed up.
I stayed warm the best I could.
I accepted care, love, and help — even when my body felt like it was betraying me.
For today, that has to be enough.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
This Is Not Normal Tina
🌼 Date: Thursday, January 22, 2026
⚡ Energy: Empty. Frustrated. Offended by my own body.
💔 Status: Mad. Not sad — mad.
😡 Outlook: Apparently this is part of the deal. I don’t like it.
Today started with a restless night — tossing and turning even with a Trazodone — and then my first Granix shot of this round.
And from there, it just went downhill.
As the day went on, my energy drained more and more, and for some reason that really pissed me off today. I know by now that the week after chemo is usually a hard one for me, but today I was not in an accepting mood.
I am angry at how much cancer has taken from me.
It took my breasts.
It took my ability to work right now.
And today, it took even the small things — the things I actually enjoy doing around the house.
I emptied the dishwasher.
Did my shot.
Made myself breakfast.
And that was it. Done. Tanks empty.
I felt like an invalid — and that word makes my skin crawl. This is not normal Tina. She does not give up. She does not let things beat her. She does not need a recovery period after unloading a dishwasher.
But today? I did.
I spent most of the day snoozing in my chair with Gidget on my lap, only getting up to pee or find a snack. That’s it. That was the whole highlight reel.
At some point it hit me that I haven’t done laundry in at least a week. I’ve got three or four loads piled up… and absolutely no will to do them.
Anyone who knows me knows I don’t ask for help. I’m usually the helper. The fixer. The one who shows up.
This whole experience has been a steep and uncomfortable learning curve.
And apparently my oncologist was right when she told me that each round would make me more tired than the one before. I can’t wait for round four — I probably won’t even be able to roll myself out of bed by then.
Something to look forward to.
Today wasn’t brave.
It wasn’t productive.
It wasn’t inspiring.
It was real. And I’m pissed about it.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Steroid Math, Medical Denial, and Hot Pink #12
🌼 Date: Wednesday, January 21, 2026
⚡ Energy: Low. Confused. Surprisingly amused.
💔 Status: Chemo brain is running the show today.
😑 Outlook: When in doubt, choose hot pink.
I finally figured out why I didn’t have a full-blown wakey, wakey cycle this round.
Turns out…
I can’t read.
I was supposed to take two steroid tablets in the morning and two in the evening, but I misread the label and only took one each time.
Well. Shit.
Is it too late to go back and take the ones I missed?
Probably.
Should I call someone and ask?
Also probably.
But here’s the thing — I’m supposed to start the Granix shots tomorrow, and I’m fairly certain I’m not supposed to be stacking steroids and Granix like some kind of experimental cocktail.
So instead of dealing with that today, I decided to absolutely not deal with it today.
Tomorrow Tina can handle it.
Today Tina is tired.
Thankfully, Casey stepped in with a much better plan: a manicure. Because my nails are now so brittle and dry that one of them split straight down the middle, and that was going to be my final straw.
Let me just say how much I love my nail lady, Sue. She worked her magic and saved the nail. Crisis averted.
And because my brain is currently bad at decisions, I let Casey choose the color.

Sue and I both laughed when he immediately picked hot pink — #12.
The same color I use every summer.
The same color that apparently lives rent-free in his brain.
Honestly? Perfect choice.
Today wasn’t about productivity.
Or problem-solving.
Or correct medication math.
It was about letting one problem wait, fixing one small thing, and ending the day with nails that make me smile every time I look down.
I’ll take that win.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
A Fill, a Fight, and Fashion by Aunt Dee
🌼 Date: Tuesday, January 20, 2026
⚡ Energy: Borrowed. Reallocated. Definitely overdrawn.
💔 Status: Tired in the bones but stacking small wins.
😐 Outlook: One more round done. Still moving forward.
Yesterday was… a lot.
We started with my plastics appointment, and I walked in cautiously optimistic. Turns out, they were really impressed with how well my hole is filling in. Even on chemo. Even after all the drama.
And because of that?
I got a fill. 🎉
Only 40cc instead of the usual 50cc — but listen, a win is a win, and I will absolutely take it.



From there it was straight into chemo in the afternoon. Round done. Juice delivered. Chair claimed. The whole familiar routine. Chemo itself went fine, but by the end of the day, I was absolutely wrung out. The kind of tired that lives behind your eyes and settles into your bones.
Still, we rallied.
Because it was Taco Tuesday, and we met up with a few friends for dinner. And just when I thought the day couldn’t hold one more thing, Aunt Dee showed up with two new crocheted hats she made for me.



One looks like a turban.
The other is made of granny squares.
Both are amazing.
I was already wearing my chemo head wrap, so instead of doing a wardrobe change at the table like a lunatic, Casey stepped in and modeled the hats for us. Because of course he did. No hesitation. Full commitment. Taco in one hand, crochet hat on his head.
Honestly? Iconic.
Between the fill, the chemo, the tacos, the laughter, and the hats, it was a full day — emotionally and physically. Today I feel it. I’m run down. Slower. Moving carefully.
But I also stacked a win.
And showed up.
And got through another round.
That counts.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Wig Day at the Salon (Featuring My Dad)
🌼 Date: Monday, January 19, 2026
⚡ Energy: Low effort, high amusement.
💕 Status: Cancer-adjacent, but mostly just laughing.
🙃Outlook: Turns out wigs are a family affair now.
Today my mom brought over a couple of wigs she purchased after we had the head-shaving party. Her request was simple:
“Can you trim these up and make them presentable?”
Sure. Why not. Add wig stylist to the résumé.
First up was the brown wig.
She put it on… and I laughed out loud. Immediately. No filter. Just a full, honest, “Yeah, no.”
That color might’ve worked when she was in high school, but right now? Hard pass. Sorry, Mom. Time moves on. Faces change. Lighting is less forgiving.

So instead, my dad put it on.
And shockingly… it worked.
At least color-wise.
I’m not saying it was right, but it was significantly less wrong. The man wore it with confidence, which honestly counts for a lot.



There’s something very strange — and very funny — about standing in your living room, scissors in hand, adjusting your mom’s wig while your dad casually models the rejected one. If you had told me this would be part of my cancer storyline, I would not have believed you.

And yet… here we are.
Cancer brings a lot of heavy moments.
But every once in a while, it hands you something ridiculous instead.
Today was ridiculous in the best way.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Dinner, a Dance, and the Magic of Not Being in Charge
🌼 Date: Sunday, January 18, 2026
⚡ Energy: Low-key. Couch-based. Observational.
💗 Status: Tired body, very full heart.
🥰 Outlook: Turns out rest pairs nicely with being taken care of.
Sunday was a quiet day. Low energy, low expectations, no big plans — exactly what my body needed.
So, my youngest, Nicholas, and his girlfriend Lily decided they would cook dinner for us.
And let me tell you… I thoroughly enjoyed the show.
Lily took the reins like a pro, and Nicholas? He did everything she asked. Chopping, stirring, fetching, adjusting — yes ma’am, no hesitation.
Which begs the obvious question:
How come he doesn’t listen to mom and dad like that?
But here’s the part they didn’t realize.
Because of the way our family room and kitchen are set up — one big great room situation — I can see the reflection of the kitchen in the TV. Which meant I had a front-row seat to the whole thing without being obvious about it.
From my recliner.
In my silky pajamas.
Like a professional creep.
I watched them move around each other, doing this little unspoken dance — passing utensils, stepping aside, laughing, working together like it was the most natural thing in the world.
It was really sweet. The kind of sweet you don’t interrupt or comment on in the moment. You just sit there quietly and let it be what it is.
Dinner, by the way, was delicious.
But the best part wasn’t the food.
It was watching my kid grow into someone who shows up, helps, listens, and shares a kitchen with someone he clearly cares about.
Low energy day.
High return.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Refilled by Familiar Faces
🌼 Date: Friday, January 16, 2026
⚡ Energy: Running on fumes… until I wasn’t.
💖 Status: Heart a little bruised but no longer empty.
🌞 Outlook: Turns out love is an excellent fuel source.
Today I stopped by work.
Just for a visit.
Just to see some faces.
Just to remind myself that part of my life still exists exactly where I left it.
And wow.
The hugs.
The smiles.
The you’re-here! energy.
It was like walking into a warm room after being out in the cold too long. Every hug, every laugh, every “it’s so good to see you” poured a little something back into a tank that’s been running dangerously low.
Then I stood outside — in the sunshine and a full-on blustery windstorm — and waved my drivers out as they headed off for their afternoon routes.
And that part?
That got me.
Seeing their faces. Watching them pull away. Feeling their appreciation and love so clearly, even without words. That simple, familiar ritual reminded me how much I’ve missed my work family — and how much they’ve missed me.
It’s one thing to know you matter.
It’s another thing to feel it.
Today I felt wanted.
I felt missed.
I felt like myself again, if only for a little while.
I didn’t do anything extraordinary. I didn’t fix anything or solve anything or push through anything hard. I just showed up — and that was enough.
Some days don’t refill you with rest.
Some days refill you with people.
Today overflowed.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Cancer, Grief, and a Hard No
🌼 Date: Thursday, January 15, 2026
⚡ Energy: Empty tank. Sharp edges.
💔 Status: Heartbroken, irritated, and deeply unimpressed with humanity.
😠 Outlook: Still standing. Still not getting played.
Today took what little energy I had and asked for more.
I spent part of the day messaging the man about meeting this weekend so Gidget could meet Lola. I was excited. Hopeful. Letting myself imagine something good after a hard stretch.
And then the red flags started waving.
He told me he needed $150 before we met — for “ownership paperwork.”
Funny, because the Facebook ad said the puppy was free.
Also funny, because we’ve never had “ownership paperwork” for any of our other pets. Ever.
I explained that we had just paid $550 to have Momo privately cremated so we could bring his ashes home. I reminded him I’m not working right now and I’m actively going through chemo. Things are tight.
He didn’t care.
When I told him I wasn’t comfortable sending money ahead of time, he asked what I could afford. I said honestly: $20–$25.
He then demanded I send that.
I told him no — we do cash on delivery only. We’ve been burned before. I said he could email the paperwork if it mattered so much.
That was “not an option.”
So, I told him the truth: the whole thing wasn’t sitting right with me. That he didn’t get to bully me. That my terms were cash on delivery, no paperwork required, and the deal was still contingent on whether Gidget even liked Lola.
If he didn’t like those terms, then I was sorry — it wasn’t meant to be.
He called me selfish.
Said he “really wanted me to have the dog.”
That’s when I was done.
After that? Radio silence.
Casey said it perfectly: if the ad had been upfront about the $150, we probably would’ve paid it without issue. But advertising a puppy as free and springing a fee at the last minute — that’s the problem. That, and refusing cash.
Sketchy.
I Googled him and found out he’s a dog breeder, which raised even more questions. Was there ever an aunt? Does she even have cancer? If not, I hope karma finds him quickly, because cancer is not a word you get to toss around for sympathy or money.
It’s not a storyline.
It’s not leverage.
It’s real life.
I’m busy kicking cancer’s ass right now. If he thought I couldn’t also take on a dog-breeding scam artist on a low-energy Thursday, he was wrong.
Watch me.
It’s sad there are people willing to take advantage of others — especially when they’re vulnerable. And the worst part is knowing some people probably did send him money and lost it.
So today I fought cancer.
And grief.
And a scam.
Not bad for a Thursday with zero gas in the tank.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
When the Universe Whispers “Maybe”
🌼 Date: Wednesday, January 14, 2026
⚡ Energy: Quietly hopeful.
💔 Status: Grief still present — but something new might be forming.
🤗 Outlook: Two good things on the horizon goes a long way.
Today brought something unexpected — the kind of moment that makes you stop and wonder if the universe is nudging you instead of shouting.
We came across a post on Facebook from a man whose aunt has cancer. She’s no longer able to care for her Yorkie puppy and asked him to help find her a new home.
The puppy’s name is Lola.
She’s 12 weeks old.
I sent him a private message and shared that I’m also battling cancer right now. And I told him something else — that my red, spicy wig is named Lolita, Lola for short, courtesy of my husband.
Coincidence?
Maybe.
But it sure made me pause.
I asked where he was located, and when he replied Eugene, my eyebrows went up. That’s only about two and a half hours from us. Not across the state. Not impossible. Just… doable.
We talked more and decided to meet halfway. We found a park in Keizer, where Gidget and Lola can meet and see how they do together. If Gidge gives her approval? Then it’s a go.
No pressure.
No rushing.
Just seeing what feels right.
Suddenly, I have something to look forward to this weekend — something light, something hopeful, something that isn’t about appointments or wounds or waiting.
And then there’s Friday.
I’m planning to stop by work during the drivers’ midday and wave them out as they head off on their afternoon routes. I miss that more than I realized. The people. The routine. The simple act of showing up and being seen.
So now I have two good things ahead of me.
Sometimes excitement doesn’t show up loud and flashy. Sometimes it tiptoes in and says, hey… maybe this is something.
And for today, maybe is enough.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Measured, Modified, and Missing a Little Dog
🌼 Date: Tuesday, January 13, 2026
⚡ Energy: Steady, thoughtful, and a little emotionally bruised.
💗 Status: Progress happening — even when it doesn’t feel like it.
😑 Outlook: Long road. Still walking.
Today was physical therapy day.
They measured my range of motion, and honestly? I was surprised. Even with ripped stitches, a gaping hole, and me babying my right side more than I’d like to admit, my mobility has still improved.
That felt like a small win.
Then she measured my left arm — the one where they took the lymph nodes — and the swelling has gone down an entire inch in some places. Which is wild, because I didn’t even realize it was swollen, let alone noticeably bigger than the right arm.
Apparently, my body has been doing things without consulting me again.
Now I have homework. New stretches. Modified versions for the right side until the infamous hole decides to finish filling itself in. I don’t think my physical therapist loved hearing that her stretches were directly involved in my stitches ripping out… but here we are. We adapt. We keep moving.
Her goal is to get me nice and limber on both sides before radiation starts the second week of April.
Ah yes. Radiation. The next chapter.
Between now and then, I’m also hoping the hole fully closes so I can resume saline fills in my expander bags. Ironically, right before radiation starts, one expander will actually need to be deflated so it doesn’t interfere with the radiation beam.
I talked to the plastics nurse yesterday and requested that when that time comes, they deflate both sides — because I am absolutely not walking around for weeks with only one boob. Hard pass.
How long they stay deflated depends on healing, burns, and skin recovery. And once radiation is done, the radiated side has to heal for at least six months before reconstruction surgery is even on the table.
It’s a long road.
Like… really long.
Lord, give me patience and strength for the long haul. 🙏
And then, because life doesn’t like to stay on one topic for too long, Casey dropped a gentle bomb this afternoon.
He thinks Gidget is pouting without Momo.

And honestly? I think he’s right.

Today she was my literal shadow. Everywhere I went, there she was. Like she didn’t trust that if she let me out of her sight, I was going to come back.
When I let her outside, she sat in the sunshine and refused to come in. Just sat there. Waiting. Until I finally bribed her with a treat.

It felt like she was waiting for Momo to come home.
So now we’re talking about maybe getting her a companion — not a puppy-puppy, but another female Yorkie around her age. Gidge is eight. Casey doesn’t want to raise another eight-week-old chaos gremlin (fair), doesn’t want to drive across the state, and really wants Gidge to have a meet-and-greet before any commitment.


No rush. No impulse decisions. Just the right fit.
So… if anyone out there knows of a 7–8-year-old female Yorkie who needs a forever home, please send them my way. I’ve added pictures of Gidge to this post — partly because she’s cute, and partly because maybe the universe will do its thing.
Today was about progress you don’t always feel, grief that still lingers, and making space for what comes next — slowly, thoughtfully, and with love.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Good Healing, Hard Goodbye
🌼 Date: Monday, January 12, 2026
⚡ Energy: Emotionally wrung out. Physically tired. Still here.
💔 Status: Good news from my body. Devastating news from my heart.
😭 Outlook: Grateful for progress. Grieving a very loved little soul.
Today came with both good news and bad news — the kind of day where you hold two truths at the same time and neither cancels the other out.
The good news first.
I had my plastics appointment today, and we compared my pictures from a couple weeks ago — before they put the stitches in — to the picture taken today after the remaining stitches I ripped out last week were removed.
What a difference.
Even being on chemo, knowing it slows healing, my wound has come a long way in a short amount of time. The bottom of the hole is almost even with the surface skin now. The top is maybe a millimeter deep, if that. And the hole itself is smaller around than it was when I started chemo a month ago.
That matters.
It tells me my body is still working. Still responding. Still trying. And it confirms that negotiating with my oncologist and moving forward with chemo as scheduled was the right call for me.
I needed that reassurance today.
And then there was the bad news.



When Casey got home, Momo wasn’t acting like himself. He couldn’t stand on his back legs. He couldn’t hold up his head. We knew things had been changing — the last few days he wasn’t finishing his meals and wasn’t drinking much water — but seeing him unable to support his tiny six pounds told us what we didn’t want to admit yet.
It was time.



Casey picked him up and held him against his chest, and we just loved on him — whispered to him, kissed him, told him how good he was — as he passed peacefully in Casey’s arms.
We cried like babies.



One of the hardest parts of loving pets is that they become family. Children, really. And letting them go never gets easier, no matter how many times you’ve had to do it.
Casey took Momo to our vet, and they confirmed what we already knew — he had crossed the rainbow bridge.
Momo is now in heaven, reunited with his brothers Buster and JJ, and with our son Bryan. I find comfort knowing he didn’t go alone, that he had a welcoming party waiting for him.
Today reminded me that healing and loss can exist side by side.
That progress doesn’t protect you from grief.
And that love — real love — always leaves a mark.
Rest easy, little fertigator. You are so very loved.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
$30, Ten Hours of Sleep, and a Damn Good Day
🌼 Date: Sunday, January 11, 2026
⚡ Energy: Rested. Giddy. Mildly feral in the best way.
💔 Status: Post-Trazodone bliss and back in my body.
🌞 Outlook: Turns out “normal” can feel like a miracle.
Last night I took a Trazodone and slept for ten full hours.
TEN.
Not chemo sleep.
Not half-awake, weird-dream, tossing-and-turning sleep.
Actual, deep, delicious, don’t-talk-to-me-I’m-healing sleep.
Pure. Heaven.
When I woke up, I did what any responsible adult does: checked my socials. And there it was — an ad on Facebook Marketplace for the Dr. Marten loafers that Santa apparently forgot to load into the sleigh.
They’re still sitting in my Amazon cart, mocking me, having dropped from $150 to $110.
But this listing?
Worn once.
Look brand new.
Thirty dollars.
Acca-excuse me?
I may have squealed. Loudly.
Then I asked Casey if he was up for a road trip since we had absolutely nothing else planned.
He was in.
I messaged the seller, we set a time, and suddenly we had a plan — the best kind. The accidental kind.
We grabbed my friend, hit the bank for cash, stopped at McDonald’s for fries and a Sprite (for hydration and change), then made the 35-minute trek to the other side of the river to collect my very late, very perfect Christmas present.



Shoes acquired.
Joy secured.
After that?
Grocery store.
Click List pickup.
Home.
That was it.
No drama.
No appointments.
No chaos.
Just a normal day — and damn, it felt good.
I don’t need every day to be big.
I just need days like this sprinkled in to remind me that life still knows how to behave.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Pajamas, Brunch, and the Good Kind of Tired
🌼 Date: Saturday, January 10, 2026
⚡ Energy: Low battery, full heart.
💔 Status: End of week two post-chemo tired — the real, heavy kind.
🌞 Outlook: Worth it.
Today was a family day — the kind that doesn’t look flashy but settles into your bones in a good way.
On my mom’s side of the family, we stopped trying to force everything into December. Everyone’s families have grown, everyone’s got multiple places to be, and the pressure was getting ridiculous. So, Aunt Cathy — my mom’s oldest sister — made the executive decision to move our get-together to January.
Honestly? Genius.

This year it was a pajama party brunch, which already tells you the vibe was right. No rushing. No expectations. Just food, laughter, and people who have known you your whole life.

It was a long day — a little over an hour drive each way — and I’m just wrapping up week two after chemo, so yeah… I’m worn out. The kind of tired you don’t power through, you just carry.
But it was good tired.
The kind that comes from being surrounded by family all day. From sitting, eating, talking, and just being without needing to explain anything. The kind of tired that feels earned, not stolen.
Today deserves to be remembered — even if tomorrow I’m paying for it with an early bedtime and zero ambition.
Some days don’t need a lesson or a punchline.
Some days are just… good.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Unsupervised, Unstitched, and Wigless in Public
🌼 Date: Friday, January 9, 2026
⚡ Energy: Determined. Unsupervised. Mildly unhinged.
💔 Status: Stitches ripped out. Dignity questionable. Adaptability undefeated.
🌞 Outlook: Calling plastics, wearing a pink wig, and laughing anyway.
Yesterday ended with a plot twist no one asked for.
After a day that included Christmas tree takedown, vacuuming, sweeping, and a full-scale dog shit hazmat operation, I went to change my bandage and—surprise—my stitches had torn out.
Again.
Back to the gaping hole club. Membership renewed.
I’ll be calling the plastics hotline this morning to see if they want me in today or if Monday is soon enough. (Spoiler: I already know the answer is “send a picture.”)
And friends… that’s where things got stupid.
Casey wasn’t home.
Which meant I had to take the picture.
Picture me alone, unsupervised, trying to:
- remove my own bandage (usually Casey’s department),
- hold up my compression tank top that I cannot take off by myself,
- balance my phone,
- and somehow photograph my own boob.
This was never going to end well.
Plan A failed immediately.
Plan B involved me going back to the kitchen and grabbing:
- the stick-on grip-it thing Santa put in my stocking,
- and the remote for the handheld selfie grip doo-hickey Santa also brought me
(because obviously if you’re blogging through chemo, you need equipment).
Back in the bathroom, I stuck my phone to the full-length mirror on the back of the door, pulled my tank top up with one hand (which was also holding the remote), lifted the bandage with the other, and tried to angle my boob into the frame like this was a totally normal activity.
Just as I went to take the picture, the phone started sliding down the mirror.
So, what did I do?
I crouched down to follow it.
I managed to:
- descend at the same speed as the falling phone,
- keep the tank top and bandage lifted,
- and snap multiple usable photos on the way down.
I was honestly impressed with myself.
The coordination.
The problem-solving.
The commitment.
So yes. You can now officially add Medical Boob Photographer to my ever-evolving résumé.
And because this day clearly wasn’t done with me yet, let’s talk about Candy.
Candy is my pink wig.
Named after the song Sex & Candy.
She was supposed to make her public debut at dinner.
What Candy did instead was attempt an escape.
Her hair is apparently so slippery that the hat I wore over her slid clean off my head the second I sat down at the table. And with the hat went the decorative bobby pins that had been bravely holding her untrimmed, wildly overgrown bangs out of my face.
So there I was.
In the middle of a restaurant.
Wig sliding.
Hat falling.
Pins abandoning ship.
And I did what any reasonable person would do.
I took her off. Right there.
Candy did not get dinner pictures.
Candy spent the rest of the evening in time out on the chair next to me while I finished my meal as myself, bald, unbothered, and slightly amused by the attention.
Once her bangs are trimmed and she learns how to behave in public, I’ll take her out for another spin. And yes — there will be pictures.
Tonight just wasn’t her night.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Fertigation, But Make It Personal
🌼 Date: Thursday, January 8, 2026
⚡ Energy: Grateful, slightly stunned, and then immediately assaulted by dog poop.
💔 Status: Apparently people are reading this… and my blind puppy chose violence.
🌞 Outlook: Thankful for humans. Concerned about puppies. Still standing.
Before I tell you about how my morning turned into a full-blown biohazard situation, I need to stop and say this:
In one month — since December 8 — this little corner of the internet has had 400 viewers and 1,271 views.
That’s… a lot.
Especially considering my entire “marketing strategy” has been:
post the link on Facebook and Instagram and hope for the best.
So, if you’re here?
Reading.
Coming back.
Lurking quietly.
Sharing with a friend.
Or hate-reading with concern?
That’s on you. And I see you.
This space exists because people keep showing up — not for polished inspiration, but for honesty, dark humor, and whatever the hell this is. Thank you for making it worth sitting down and typing on the hard days.
Okay. Gratitude moment complete.
Now let me tell you about Momo.
My normal morning routine is simple: let the dogs out, take my temperature, take my meds, make breakfast.
Not today.
Today was a learning day.
Not a cancer learning day.
Not a chemo learning day.
A life hands you a blind puppy and says “figure it out” kind of day.
Enter Momo.
He’s 12.
He’s blind.
He’s a puppy. (All dogs are puppies. Age is fake.)
As I walked over to Momo’s kennel — newly placed under the windows — I was greeted by what can only be described as a Category 5 Shit Event.
Let me set the scene properly…
You know those big ol’ fields on road trips with the sprinkler systems on giant wheels that crawl across the land like agricultural centipedes? That’s called Lateral Move Irrigation. Sometimes the water spraying out is brown instead of clear.
That’s not water.
That’s fertilizer.
Specifically: liquid manure.
That process is called Fertigation.
Friends… Momo has mastered fertigation.
There was shit in his dog bed.
On his water dish.
On the dog gate.
All over the pee pads.
And, naturally, on his feet, because he had stomped through it like he was crushing grapes for wine.
A wine I do not recommend.
Pretty sure it would be… shitty.
Before I could do anything for myself, I scooped him up and put him on his outside tether. (Because blind puppy + freedom = lost puppy.) Then began the hazmat protocol.
Chemo rule #47: do not touch pet feces.
So, I gloved up like I was about to perform surgery in a war zone.
Smell is a big trigger right now, so I masked up too — and still managed to throw up in my mouth and sprint to the kitchen sink. Which meant… yes… now the sink needed scrubbing.
After that:
• dog bath
• bed into the washer
• pee pads washed
• water bowl through the dishwasher
And when I finally looked up?

Momo was stretched out on the couch.
Clean.
Relaxed.
Thriving.
Watching me do all the heavy lifting like a king who just survived a hostile takeover.
It’s a good thing I love the little shit.
(See what I did there?)
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Paperwork, Puppies, and Pulling Down Christmas
🌼 Date: Wednesday, January 07, 2026
⚡ Energy: Depleted, overachieving, stubborn.
💞 Status: Still alive. Slightly dizzy. Very accomplished.
😪 Outlook: The hard work is done — tomorrow is a problem for tomorrow.
Today was one of those days where nothing dramatic happened, but somehow everything was exhausting.
Phone calls.
Emails.
Clarifying paperwork that should not need clarifying.
Union stepping in (thank God).
Another call to my doctor because the date on my updated FMLA paperwork was wrong — because of course it was.
The biggest irony of the day?
I can’t use the sick bank right now because I currently have long-term disability (even though I did NOT sign up for it this year) — even though the sick bank exists for moments exactly like this. Make it make sense. (It doesn’t.)
This is the part of cancer people don’t talk about much. Not the chemo. Not the baldness. Not even the fatigue — but the administrative Olympics that happen behind the scenes while you’re just trying to survive the day without crying or throwing your phone.
And then… there was Momo.
Last night, Momo once again escaped his playpen area. This time, he jumped over the armrest of the couch like a tiny, determined ninja and made his way straight to our bedroom door, scratching and barking as if he had been personally abandoned.
Important context:
Momo is blind.
He is diabetic.
And he is on a very strict schedule.
He eats twice a day, as close to 12 hours apart as possible, and must finish eating within a 30-minute window so we can give him his insulin shot. No treats outside that window. No free roaming — because blind dogs + carpets = chaos.
So we had carefully engineered a setup around the couch: a play yard gate, his puppy ramp, water bowl, and an entire floor lined with washable pee pads. It was comfortable. It was safe. It was apparently not enough.
Which means… the couch had to go.
Sorry, Momo. You’re back to a dog bed like a regular dog.
Whoever said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks has clearly never met a 12-year-old blind boy with diabetes and an agenda.
Once the couch was out of the equation, everything snowballed — because of course it did.
The Christmas tree had to come down to make room for the kennel under the windows.
Once the tree was down, I had to sweep under it.
Once I swept under it, I couldn’t in good conscience sweep only part of the house.
So, the entire house got swept.
Then the pee pads had to be picked up and washed.
Which meant the rug under them had to be vacuumed and washed.
And once one rug was done… well, you already know — the whole house got vacuumed.
Then all the blankets Momo had been sleeping on had to be washed so they were people-safe again.
By the time I finished everything, I was wiped out.
I checked my oxygen — a solid 97%.
But my heart rate? 125 beats per minute.
I’ve always run a little fast (usually in the 90s), and my blood pressure has been low at recent appointments, which probably explains why I felt lightheaded after doing way too much today.
But the work is done.
The house is reset.
Momo is secure.
Tomorrow?
We’ll see if I can get out of bed.
Today I fought bureaucracy, cancer fatigue, and a blind diabetic escape artist — and somehow still swept and vacuumed the house. One badass, slightly unhinged day at a time.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Pink Hats & Stacey in the Wild
🌼 Date: Tuesday, January 06, 2026
⚡ Energy: Tender, playful, cautiously confident
💖 Status: Still standing (and accessorized)
🥰 Outlook: Finding joy where I can—and wearing it proudly
Today was about softness.
Not the kind that gives up—but the kind that comforts.

My Aunt Dee crocheted me the most ridiculously joyful hot pink hats. One is a chic little pillbox style that makes me feel like I should be sipping espresso and judging strangers (lovingly). The other? A full-on bow-and-pigtails masterpiece that immediately brings out my inner five-year-old who refuses to take life too seriously.


They’re warm.
They’re bold.
They’re love—stitched loop by loop.
And then… there was Stacey.
And before anyone makes it weird — Nicholas named her, not me.
Yes, that Stacey. As in “Stacey’s mom has got it going on.”
To be clear:
- He was referring to the wig
- The song popped into his head
- He immediately laughed
- I immediately claimed the name
No Oedipal undertones. No therapy needed. Just a teenage boy with a dumb song stuck in his head and a mom who now owns a blonde wig with a personality.
Stacey, the wig, took it as a compliment.

Last night marked a milestone: my first time wearing a wig out in the wild. Casey got to choose (because apparently, I trust his judgment more than my own), and despite his lifelong declaration that he “doesn’t like blondes,” he confidently picked Stacey.
Reader, I married the right man.
Stacey did great.
It was windy. Very windy.

Turns out long hair + lip gloss = an unexpected bonding experience. I spent a solid portion of the evening peeling blonde strands off my face like decorative tinsel, but honestly? Worth it.
What surprised me most wasn’t how I looked—it was how normal it felt. Not “before cancer” normal, but new-normal, still-me normal. The kind where I can laugh, adapt, and keep moving forward with a little help from yarn, humor, and a blonde alter ego.
Between pink hats made with love and a wig with personality, today reminded me of something important:
I may be losing hair, strength, and predictability—but I am not losing myself.
And if the choice is between crying or accessorizing…
I’ll take accessorizing every time.
Some days call for grit.
Some days call for hot pink and a wig named Stacey.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Pre-Baby Bladder Sleep and Other Miracles
🌼 Date: Monday, January 05, 2026
⚡ Energy: Cautiously optimistic (with good sleep swagger)
❤️🩹 Status: Rested, stitched, still healing
😴 Outlook: One miracle at a time — todays was sleep
I woke up at 1:15 a.m. to pee.
Which, historically, is how my body likes to trick me into thinking the day has officially begun.
My brain immediately jumped into “since you’re already up…” mode:
Unload the dishwasher.
Start another load of laundry.
Scroll the internet into oblivion.
Solve world problems.
Hard pass.
This time, I refused to settle for four crappy hours of sleep, so I tried one of the new meds my oncologist gave me — Trazodone, which she specifically told me to save until after round two of chemo.
Friends…
✨ EIGHT. GLORIOUS. UNINTERRUPTED. HOURS. ✨
I slept until 9:30 a.m.
No bathroom trips.
No tossing.
No turning.
No existential dread.
I haven’t slept like that since before kids — and my oldest is 33. That was pre-baby bladder, pre-mom brain, pre-everything. A full-blown medical miracle. And no, before you ask, I did not wet the bed. 😉


Later in the day, I had my plastics appointment — a wound check for the hole and its newest supporting cast of stitches. As expected, no fill (I wasn’t even hoping for one), but we did switch up the dressing.
We’re officially retiring the silver-soaked foam pad and moving to a non-stick gauze pad with Polysporin, changed daily. (And by “I,” I mean Casey, because that’s the division of labor in this house.)
The hope is that this new setup won’t rip off the fragile new skin that’s been forming every 24 hours — which looks like pus to me but apparently is actually healing tissue. Medical science is wild.
Today was also a reminder that cancer doesn’t just live in your body.
It lives in paperwork, phone calls, systems, and logistics that don’t slow down just because you’re sick. I’m painfully aware that I am not doing this alone — I have Casey, I have support, I have people who can step in when I don’t have the strength to fight another fight.
And I think often about the people who don’t have that — and how impossibly heavy this journey must feel without someone in your corner.
Today wasn’t flashy, but it was restorative. Sleep helped. Stitches held. Support showed up. And for now, that’s more than enough.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Victory Pajamas and Window Decals
🌼 Date: Sunday, January 4, 2026
⚡ Energy: Triumphant but tender
❤️🩹 Status: Sore, tired, victorious
🥶 Outlook: Cold outside, warm inside, finally caught up
Ha! WordPress: conquered.
This mission technically started Friday night and didn’t officially end until this morning. Two days of wrestling with menus, ghost pages, slugs from hell, and enough “why won’t you just WORK?” moments to qualify as an endurance sport. But friends… the site now does exactly what I envisioned.
Who knew that at the wise-ass age of 54, I’d be learning how to build a whole damn website? I genuinely thought this was supposed to be click-and-fill. Like the digital version of Mad Libs.
(Yes, I know. I just dated myself. Again.)
As part of my victory tour, I posted my celebration pajamas on social media. Okay fine — they were technically my New Year’s Eve pajamas — but victory pajamas don’t expire. Rules are flexible when you win a war against technology.
Then, because apparently, I like to stack accomplishments, Casey and I installed five of my very first pieces of blog merch:
“Badass Breast Cancer” window decals.
On actual vehicles. In the wild. Rolling down the road.

Shoutout to My Mary 💖 — and yes, this is a proud mom moment for me, because I still can’t believe this thing in my head is now stuck to glass in the real world.
After freezing my freshly bald head and my not-just-boob-weight-lost body (almost 25 pounds down, and trust me, that changes your internal thermostat), I came back inside, thawed out, and did something that felt just as victorious:
I got caught up on three days of blog posts.
Which brings us here. Fully caught up. No backlog. No guilt.
Bonus win: today was day five and FINAL day of the Granix shots. 🎉
The bone pain isn’t quite as brutal as yesterday, but I’ve definitely noticed a pattern — evenings and bedtime are when my knees and legs start screaming, and that’s when the ice packs come out like clockwork. Still, knowing this was the last shot makes it all feel more manageable.
Also, my abdomen is officially starting to resemble a Dalmatian — bruises instead of spots — but honestly? I’ll take it.
I didn’t just survive this week — I finished it. Website fixed. Merch launched. Shots completed. Blog caught up. Still standing. One badass day at a time.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
When Strength Looks Like Asking for Help
🌼 Date: Saturday, January 03, 2026
⚡ Energy: Heavy, humbled, honest
💕 Status: Upright with help. Grateful for it.
😒 Outlook: Learning the difference between resting and surrendering.
Today’s Lesson: Fatigue
Today’s lesson was all about fatigue — not the cute, “I’m tired, I need a nap” kind, but the bone-deep, strength-stealing kind that rewrites what your body can do without asking permission first.
After my second round of chemo, I messaged my oncologist to let her know that this round is hitting me much harder than round one ever did.
I know from watching my son go through this that each round can hit harder than the last. And if round two is already kicking my ass this badly, rounds three and four may very well have me parked in bed.
Right now, I have zero strength.
Casey has to help me put my chair down.
Sometimes he has to help me stand up just to get out of the chair.
I can’t open jars.
Or Gatorade bottles.
Or boxes of crackers.
I feel like such a weakling — even though I know I’m not.


Thank God for my Hercules, who steps in without hesitation and does all the things I physically can’t right now. And to the warriors who walk this road alone? You have my deepest respect. Truly. I cannot imagine doing this without someone beside me.
My oncologist’s response was honest and measured:
“Fatigue usually gets worse, but other side effects can vary, and sometimes other cycles can be better.”
Which, of course, also means… sometimes not.
If fatigue truly does get worse, I worry about what that looks like. I’ve already lived the version where a bedside commode becomes necessary because getting to the bathroom is too much. I hope I don’t end up bedbound — but if I do, I guess at least I can still type. Hopefully.
As if my body wasn’t already teaching enough lessons, I also spent the entire day wrestling with WordPress, trying to find a hidden glitch that was breaking my brand-new Daily Posts page.
It was a full-on mud wrestling match — except there was no one to tag in.
I walked away.
Ate a snack.
Got a drink.
Came back.
Repeat.
I went to bed without solving it — which is deeply un-Tina-like — but also… necessary.
Because today wasn’t about winning.
It was about knowing when to stop pushing and start listening.
Today taught me that strength doesn’t always look like doing more.
Sometimes it looks like admitting what you can’t do — and letting love step in where muscle fails.
💗 Tina —
One Badass Day at a Time
Ice Packs and Hour-by-Hour Living ⭐
🌼 Date: Friday, January 02, 2026
⚡ Energy: Low, sore, inward
❤️🩹 Status: Managing. Not gracefully, but effectively.
😔 Outlook: One hour at a time, ice packs prioritized.
Today Was Not a Great Day
Today was day three of the Granix shots, and it hit hard.
Severe bone pain — the kind that makes your body feel too heavy to carry itself. My knees and ankles took the worst of it. Standing made everything louder. Moving felt optional. Existing required planning.
I spent most of the day rotating between ice packs and the heating pad, camped out like it was my full-time job. For the record: I think ice is winning. Numbing the pain might be the trick here. Heat feels comforting, but ice feels effective — and today I needed effective.
I’ve already taken the maximum dose of Tylenol for a 24-hour period, so now the plan is simple:
survive until I can sleep… and then sleep until I can take more.
After my legendary 59-hour wakey-wakey spree, I’m now averaging about 5–7 hours of sleep a night. Each night seems to be about an hour shorter than the last, like my body is counting down to the next shot and getting impatient.
I’m supposed to give myself the Granix shot every 24 hours.
Confession time: I’ve been cheating and doing closer to 22 hours.
When the shakes and bone pain ramp up, waiting feels impossible.
Which is the cruel irony of all this — the shot is what causes the bone pain in the first place, but it’s also the thing that makes the shaking and pain calm down afterward. The growth factor tells my bone marrow to wake up and work harder, which is great for my white blood cells… and absolutely miserable for my skeleton.
At this point, I’ll take temporary relief without complaint.
I’ve also been taking extra Pepcid along with my nausea meds. Pepcid is a histamine blocker, and while it’s not a pain medication, it can help in situations like this because histamine plays a role in inflammation. Less histamine = less inflammatory signaling = slightly quieter pain. It’s not a miracle, but when your knees are screaming, even a small volume reduction matters.
Today wasn’t productive.
It wasn’t inspiring.
It wasn’t brave in a way that looks good on social media.
It was ice packs.
It was heat.
It was sitting still because standing hurt more.
And honestly? That was enough.
Today wasn’t about pushing through.
It was about staying put — and letting my body do the work it’s already doing.
💗 Tina —
One Badass Day at a Time
The Year I Needed
🌼 Date: Thursday, January 01, 2026
⚡ Energy: Reflective, grateful, quietly powerful
💓 Status: Still standing. Still here. Still learning.
💪 Outlook: Entering 2026 clearer, braver, and done playing small
🥢 New Year’s Day, the Way We Do It
For as long as I can remember — and I mean single digits old — our family has had one non-negotiable New Year’s Day tradition: we go out to eat Chinese food.
It started as family, back when the only places open on January 1st were Chinese restaurants. Over the years, it evolved into family plus whoever was lucky enough to snag an invite. Some years it’s small. Some years it’s chaos. Last year we had close to 30 people show up. This year? Just 9.

You never know what a year will leave you with — and that’s kind of the point.
This year’s table was smaller, quieter, and honestly… perfect.
Casey wore one of his favorite shirts —
“Her fight is my fight. I wear pink for my wife.”

I wore mine —
“Pink! Spread the hope. Find the cure!” —
paired with a hot pink bandana, because obviously I can’t leave well enough alone.
We ate. We laughed. We sat together in the aftershocks of a year that changed everything.
✨ The Year I Needed
I didn’t get the year I wanted.
I got the year that cracked me open.
The kind of year you don’t post highlight
reels about.
The kind where the goal isn’t “thriving” — it’s making it to the end of the day without falling apart in front of the wrong people.
This year taught me how heavy life can get.
How plans can dissolve even when you do everything right.
How promises can stretch thin.
How people change.
How sometimes effort isn’t enough — and that truth hurts like hell.
There were long stretches where I felt behind.
Like everyone else was moving forward while I was just trying to stay upright.
Some days I was exhausted from being strong.
From explaining myself.
From pretending I was okay when I absolutely was not.
There were nights I questioned my worth.
Wondered if I was failing at life, at work, at healing — at everything.
Cancer will do that to you.
So will being told “just wait” long enough that waiting becomes a cage.
But somewhere in the middle of all that mess, something shifted.
Quietly.
Without permission.
I learned how to show up for myself — even when no one else did.
How to stop chasing things that weren’t choosing me back.
How to rest without guilt.
How to set boundaries without writing a dissertation to justify my pain.
I learned that growth doesn’t always look like progress.
Sometimes it looks like loss.
Losing people.
Losing comfort.
Losing the version of yourself who kept shrinking to fit where you no longer belonged.
But I didn’t lose myself.
I found her.
Stronger.
Clearer.
Less willing to settle.
More aware of my own power.
So no — 2025 wasn’t gentle.
It wasn’t pretty.
It wasn’t fair.
But it changed me in ways that matter.
And if you’re ending this year tired, disoriented, or quietly proud just for still being here — hear this:
You didn’t fall behind.
You survived the year that shaped you.
And the woman walking into 2026?
She’s wiser.
She’s braver.
And she’s finally aware of just how big she really is.
Bring it on, 2026.
I didn’t ring out 2025 with champagne.
I rang it out with clarity.
And if 2026 wants to test me —
it should probably stretch first.
💗 Tina —
One Badass Day at a Time
59 Hours Awake, 8 Hours of Bliss (and a Hard Stop at 10:30)
🌼 Date: Wednesday, December 31, 2025
⚡ Energy: Quiet, tender, deeply tired
💓 Status: Shot one complete, record sleep achieved
🥱 Outlook: Rest counts as progress
Day one of the Granix shots.
For reasons known only to my body and whatever gremlin runs the side-effect department, the first of the five shots always makes me bleed like a stuck pig — while the other four behave themselves. Weird, but consistent. At this point, I just nod and roll with it.
And now… brace yourselves.
Because I have AMAZING NEWS.
Since I didn’t have to take steroids last night, I slept.
Like, really slept.
Eight. Whole. Hours.
Blissfully peaceful.
Uninterrupted — except for my bladder, which remains deeply committed to chaos.
That officially ends the wakey-wakey marathon at 59 hours.
A new personal record.
Casey said I should’ve tried to make it an even 60.
Hard pass. I am not interested in defending this title next round.
Today is New Year’s Eve, and in keeping with the theme of low expectations and soft living, I donned my silver satin pajamas to ring it in.

This second round of chemo has hit differently.
I’m more tired.
More worn down.
Zero energy.
Very little strength.
We tried to make it to midnight.
We really did.
But I think we officially said goodbye to 2025 around 10:30 PM, tucked into bed, lights out, surrender accepted.
And honestly?
That feels right.
Not every day needs fireworks.
Some days just need rest.
And tonight, rest is exactly how I’m closing the year.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Chemo Brain, Clean Laundry, and Registered Bags
🌼 Date: Tuesday, December 30, 2025
⚡ Energy: Wired but weirdly productive
💞 Status: Steroids ending, insomnia ongoing
🧐 Outlook: Organized chaos with a side of science
This morning was my last dose of steroids. No steroids tonight, which means tomorrow morning I officially start the shots. (Insert dramatic music here.)
Amazingly, I managed two one-hour cat naps overnight while working on the computer. No real sleep — but in the land of steroid-induced insomnia, that counts as a win. And apparently, sleepless Tina is also highly productive Tina.
I have washed everything.
If it fit in the washing machine — or could be coerced into fitting — it has been washed.
I love the smell of clean. LOVE it.
Which brings us to… smells.
Ever since starting chemo, my nose has turned into a bloodhound with opinions.
Casey came home with Taco Bell. He had approximately half an ounce of lettuce on his taco, and the smell of that lettuce nearly made me lose my lunch. LETTUCE. It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t turning. It was just… lettuce.
Then came the real betrayal.
Peanut butter.
One of my favorites. A staple. A friend.
Casey made toast — one piece with butter, one with peanut butter — sat next to me, and suddenly I was overwhelmed with the urge to heave. I politely asked him if he could please eat the peanut butter toast first, as quickly as possible, so I didn’t have to smell it anymore.
This is my life now.
No smooth segue here — though I do appreciate a smooth peanut butter joke — but I want to talk about my chemo command center, because it’s become essential.


This is my at-home chemo command center, and it exists for one simple reason: I am done trying to read microscopic print while mid-nausea cycle. Everything is labeled in a way that works for me, because my brain and my stomach are no longer taking shifts at the same time.
In this picture you’ll see:
- My labeled medication bottles, because chemo brain + tiny font is a hard no
- My thermometer and sterile sleeves, since I have to take my temperature daily — and before calling the doctor for anything
- Alcohol wipes for shot prep
- My puppy Band-Aids (gift exchange win 🐶 Thanks Mel and kids!)
- ALL the meds that help me go… and then help me not go too much
- Gas pills, because apparently even drinking water causes bloating now
- Nausea meds (pick one, I now have four to choose from), paired with Pepcid, which I learned is a histamine blocker
And then… still living on my counter since surgery in October, because I genuinely do not know what I’m supposed to do with them, are the registration cards for my bags.
Let me say that again.
Registration. Cards. For. My. Bags.
Am I required to carry these on me?
Who exactly is going to ask to see them?
If someone does, do I:
- show them the cards?
- flash them my bags?
- both?
Is this like a service animal situation, where legally you’re not supposed to ask someone if their animal is registered?
And if that’s the case…
does that mean my bags are registered service or emotional support bags?
Because if so, I feel like they should be helping me carry groceries or at least fetch snacks.
Still no real sleep.
Still learning new things every day.
Still moving forward.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Some Days Are Just Heavy
🌼 Date: Monday, December 29, 2025
⚡ Energy: Wired, stitched, stubbornly upright
❤️🩹 Status: Stitched, infused, sleepless
💖 Outlook: Progress… just louder than expected
So, this morning was a plastics appointment and let me be clear: I walked in with zero expectations of getting a fill. At this point, I’m making peace with my baby Capri Sun-sized boobies.
Granted… they’re uneven. Very uneven.
You know how Capri Suns work, right? One pouch takes the straw like a champ, first try. The other one? You have to ja that straw in with the force of a prize fighter trying to win a title belt, and then suddenly juice explodes everywhere like you nicked a main artery. So you take a quick swig just to keep it from spraying the headliner of your minivan.
No two pouches were ever the same.
Yet somehow… my kids never noticed. Or complained.
Huh.
Never thought about that until just now.
Squirrel moment.
Anyway – I’m really enjoying not wearing a bra. Like, a lot.
Which made me wonder… after the implants go in, will I have to wear one again? And if so, will it be:
- for fun
- for looks
- for function
Please Jesus, not the confinement straight-jacket binder from hell again.
After taking two anxiety pills (because personal growth ✨), off to the plastics doctor we went.
And y’all… this appointment was like no other.
Today, the doctor decided the skin around that stubborn little hole was pink, healthy, and supple – and announced she was going to put a couple of stitches in it.
I’m sorry… what now?
We are ten weeks post-op, and today we’re deciding, “Hey, maybe we should surgically close this hole”?
Anyone remember my earlier comment about why I don’t get paid the big bucks, but they do?
Too late for a retraction?
I mean… okay. Sure. Let’s do it.


Yes, I’m including two photos – one of the hole before, and one after the stitches. Because this blog is nothing if not educational.
Per the oncologist’s terrorist-negotiated terms, the doctor made sure to seal that puppy up on all sides before sending me off to chemotherapy.
Which, of course, is at a completely different location, a solid 45 minutes away, depending on traffic. Because why wouldn’t it be.
We checked in, my butt barely touched the waiting room chair, and the nurse was already calling my name. Today’s IV? First try. No urning. No irritation. It flushed beautifully – a true Christmas miracle.
Since we had to slow one of the meds last time, my nurse came prepared: warming pack, fresh warm blanket, and a slowed start on that particular drip.
And miracle of miracles…
It worked.
No slowdown required. We are absolutely keeping that little trick in our pocket for rounds three and four.
The whole appointment was quicker this time – only three and a half hours.
And no one walked in on me in the bathroom. Look at me mastering the double lock like a seasoned professional. I also mastered the IV pole. No spills. No broken ankles. Olympic-level maneuvering.
Naturally, I came fully suited up for battle:
- my FU@K CANCER shirt
- a breast cancer head wrap I modified (because I can’t leave anything alone)
- and the sweetest breast cancer necklace fro my friend Debbie, given to me Saturday at the head-shaving party 💗



The ride home was better than round one – no nausea, just that deep, bone-level exhaustion. Still… no sleep.
I am currently in the middle of my wakey wakey, steroid-induced marathon, which in the past has kept me awake for 40 hours at a time. I’ve been up since 11:00 AM Sunday, for those of you keeping score.
I still have steroids to take tonight and again tomorrow morning, so I’m not holding out much hope for sleep. But hey – we’ll see.
At this point, sleep is optional, stitches are new, chemo is done, and I’m still standing. I may be tired – but cancer should be more tired that I am.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Powered by Jet Fuel and Spite
🌼 Date: Sunday, December 28, 2025
⚡ Energy: Steroid-powered, mildly feral, unstoppable
❤️🩹 Status: Productive, bald, wig-curious, still breathing
💖 Outlook: Getting shit done now, fully expecting to crash later
Today was Day 1 of steroids, which means my internal operating system rebooted without asking me and said, “We’re doing EVERYTHING. Right now.”
Also worth noting: I hadn’t even been out of bed for an hour this morning (yes, I had already roided up) when Casey looked at me and said, “You haven’t stopped talking since you got up… like, have you been lying in bed all night just thinking of all this stuff?”
Yup.
Exactly that.
Apparently, my brain spent the night running a full TED Talk rehearsal without my consent. So, buckle up, baby — you’ve got three days of this carnival ride to look forward to. And this is only Round 2. We’ve still got Round 3… then Round 4 ahead of us.
Yay us!!! 🎢😅
Did I do anything on the computer?
Absolutely not.
Could I sit down?
Also no.
But if you’ve got any home improvement projects, send them my way for the next two days because apparently, I am now powered by jet fuel and spite.
Here’s what did get done:
All the laundry.
Sheets and blankets washed and back on the bed — which felt especially important because up until yesterday, every time I pulled up the covers, I got a mouth full of my own hair floating off the blankets like some kind of chemo snow globe. Since the head shaving, I am happy to report that I am no longer shedding long enough strands to become airborne. Clean bedding felt ceremonial.
Then I hung the four framed pictures I had printed for Casey for Christmas.
There was math.
There was a tape measure.
There was a level.
There was a ladder.
It was a whole thing.
While Casey was trying to take a cat nap in his recliner, I decided that was the perfect time to purge my phone contacts.
Because obviously.
Three hours later, I had gone down a full memory-lane rabbit hole, deleting people, places, and businesses I have clearly outgrown. (No offense to Chuck E. Cheese, but I probably won’t be booking birthday parties there anymore. My youngest is 20.)
Once I was already emotionally invested, I figured I’d add profile pictures too. Because if you’re going to spiral, you might as well be thorough.
Then… the Amazon delivery arrived.
The blonde wig showed up.
Full disclosure: she’s more of an ombré — light brown on top, platinum blonde on the bottom — with a little curl. And I kind of love her. Even Casey said, “I thought I would hate it more.”
Progress is progress!
She needs a bang trim before her official debut, because I don’t know who is out here wearing bangs down past their nose, but it won’t be me. I’ll try to fix that tomorrow in between my plastics appointment and Round 2 of chemo.
Oh — and now that Nicholas has seen how all-in everyone went with the head shaving, he wants his shaved shorter than we did the other day. So add “family barber” back onto the list. Pics will be coming tomorrow night.
Also… the wigs need names.
You can’t just have unnamed personalities living in your house.
The red one is spicy. Latina energy.
Casey suggested Lola (or Lolita), which feels perfect because in high school dance team we competed to a song with the line: “Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl…” you all know the one, and you sang that line, didn’t you?
Nicholas thinks the blonde should be Stacey, which immediately triggered “Stacey’s mom has got it going on” in my head, so now I’m undecided.
We’ll settle this soon. Suggestions welcome.
Before I wrap this up, I want to say this clearly and lovingly:
👉 If you’ve been reading along and haven’t subscribed to the blog yet — please do.
I currently have seven subscribers (hi family, hi inner circle 💕), but with nearly 300 visitors, I know there are more of you out there. Subscribing just means you’ll get the posts delivered to you — no spam, no nonsense, just real life, one day at a time.
Okay.
Steroids are wearing off.
The crash is coming.
Tomorrow is chemo.
Still here.
Still standing.
Still doing the damn thing.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Not Walking This Alone
🌼 Date: Saturday, December 27, 2025
⚡ Energy: 🔋 (officially depleted—in the best way)
💝 Status: Surrounded, supported, and freshly clipped
🥰 Outlook: Full heart, steady hope, ready for Monday
Today was a very successful day—the kind that leaves you completely spent and deeply grateful.
✔ Labs done
✔ Head shaving + potluck accomplished
✔ Three haircuts and a beard shave given (apparently, I’ve added “pop-up barber” to my résumé)😉
Seventeen people showed up. Seventeen.
Each one offering support in their own way—food, hugs, laughter, presence. It was a beautiful outpouring of love, and it filled the room (and my heart) right up.
One moment in particular landed hard and soft at the same time. The wife of one of my last trainees came by—her husband just had back surgery four days ago, so he gets a full pass—and she brought me the most beautiful breast cancer ribbon necklace. The card read:
“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.
Let your faith be bigger than your fear.”
I will be wearing that necklace to chemo on Monday like a shield.
I’m already planning which pink breast cancer t-shirt will best match the vibe—because if I’m going in, I’m going in armored.
She also brought the best-smelling hand lotion, which made me laugh because apparently the universe knows that constant handwashing has turned my hands into something resembling the Sahara Desert… which is also currently residing in my mouth. The timing? Impeccable.
I know some of the most amazing people. Truly.
There isn’t a lot to say today that could compete with the 14 photos I have from this afternoon. They tell the story better than words ever could—love, laughter, courage, community.













Photos from today — love showed up in every form. 💗

Today reminded me that I am not walking this alone.
Not even close.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Wig First
🌼 Date: Friday, December 26, 2025
⚡ Energy: 🔋🔋 (used wisely, with laughter breaks)
💞Status: Wigged, prepared, medically efficient
😏Outlook: Spicy, realistic, and seeing the damn light
Today we made it to the wig shop—and let me tell you, it was an adventure.
Aunt Dee and Marnie came with us, which immediately guaranteed that dignity would not be present and laughter absolutely would. There were multiple belly-laugh moments. The kind where you have to stop, breathe, and wipe tears from your eyes because someone just said or did something that tipped the whole room over.
I went in with a very clear vision:
Long. Blonde. Tina.
But fate—and apparently my personality—had other plans.

I walked out with a fiery red wig that speaks directly to my spicy side. 🔥
And honestly? Once it was on, it felt right. Bold. Unapologetic. Slightly unhinged in the best way.
I tried on several different styles and colors, and I’m still blown away by the fact that all of these wigs are free, donated by private parties so women like me can have choices. Real choices. Not “this is what’s left,” but actual options.


And it gets better:
- Free wig
- Free shampoo to wash it
- Free detangling spray
- Free comb

All of it. And if I get tired of the red? I can exchange it anytime. No guilt. No hassle.

Naturally, Casey tried the wigs on too, because obviously he did.
There was a brief “who wore it better?” moment, and I will not be accepting feedback at this time.

Because I am nothing if not thorough, I also ordered a blonde wig from Amazon tonight, which will be here Sunday. So between two wigs, several hats, and a variety of head coverings, I should be…
covered.
(Yes. I did that on purpose.)
From there, we went to our normal Friday night Mexican dinner, where I showed up as a spicy redhead and ordered my usual like nothing in my life has changed—because some rituals are sacred.
I have chemo on Monday, so I may not make it to Taco Tuesday or even next Friday’s dinner, depending on how hard round two hits. Round one kicked my butt, and based on watching my son Bryan go through this, each round tends to be a little worse than the last.
That’s okay.
I know what to expect now.
And after Monday?
I’ll be halfway through chemo. Only two treatments left after that. I can see the light, and I’m walking toward it—wig first.
When we got home, we prepped everything for tomorrow. I even got the taco bake ready so all I have to do is dump it in the pan and throw it in the oven before people arrive. Efficiency matters when you’re spending your energy like it’s a limited currency.
Tomorrow morning I head in for lab work so the pharmacist can review everything and make any needed adjustments to my chemo cocktail before Monday. I appreciate not sitting around waiting. I like a plan. I like momentum.
I also put in refill requests today for:
- Steroids (starting Sunday)
- Granix shots (days 3–7 again, wheeee)
And when I pick those up, I’ll also grab two new prescriptions—one for nausea and one for sleep—but I won’t start those until after chemo Monday. Because we follow instructions around here. Mostly.
Today was full.
It was funny.
It was grounding.
And it reminded me that even in the middle of the hard stuff, there is room for laughter, good food, good people, and a red wig that refuses to be ignored.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Chemo Hooch and Other Christmas Wins
🌼 Date: Thursday, December 25, 2025
⚡ Energy: 🔋🔋🔋 (steady, managed, and fueled by apple spice)
💖 Status: Medicated, hydrated, hosting like a boss
😁 Outlook: Grateful, amused, and ready to recycle all the boxes
Today brought a small but mighty breakthrough in the nausea department—and honestly, I feel like this deserves its own Nobel Prize category.
I discovered a shortcut for my nausea drink. Chemo Hooch — the quick version of my chemo moonshine — saved the day. (recipe here)
You know the one. My chemo moonshine.
Turns out, when you don’t have two hours to brew the OG batch, you can whip up a perfectly acceptable “sister drink.” If one is moonshine, then naturally this one is… chemo hooch.
Here’s the recipe (no judgment, no measurements, just vibes):
- Hot water
- One packet of spiced apple cider mix
- A sprinkle of cinnamon
- A sprinkle of ground ginger
- Measure everything with your heart
- Stir well
- Sip slowly and feel smug about your ingenuity
This little potion, combined with:
- Pepcid morning and bedtime
- My nausea meds three times a day
- Plus the breakthrough med as needed
…made today a pretty damn good day.
Good enough that I was able to cook Christmas dinner and serve both dinner and dessert. I did not do this alone—let the record show I had a wonderful sous chef and an absolutely elite cleanup crew. Teamwork makes the chemo dream work.
Everyone had a nice Christmas.
And anyone who didn’t get exactly what they asked Santa for ended up with gift cards and has probably already made an Amazon purchase. Which makes me wonder… is Amazon’s busiest day actually after Christmas? I’m putting my money on yes.
Speaking of Amazon, my next task is breaking down approximately 47 boxes and getting them into recycling before garbage day. It’s the circle of life, but with cardboard.
The house is in good shape. Casey mopped the floors last night (he really is my Christmas miracle), and I vacuumed and cleaned the carpets. We are officially ready for Saturday’s head shaving party, which has now evolved into a potluck—because of course it has. Anyone who wants to hang out is welcome to bring a dish and stay awhile.
Santa was also very on-theme this year. He brought me:
- New cordless clippers
- A couple of new capes
- New combs
- A shiny new squirt bottle
- A new bottle of sanitizer for the tools
So yes… we are ready. Fully equipped. Slightly unhinged. Professionally prepared.
Today was full. It was warm. It was managed.
And it reminded me that sometimes the win isn’t doing everything perfectly—it’s finding the shortcuts, accepting the help, and still showing up.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Absolutely Counts
🌼 Date: Wednesday, December 24, 2025
⚡ Energy: 🔋🔋🔋 (surprisingly decent)
💔 Status: Balding with dignity, functioning, mildly festive
🌞 Outlook: Cautiously optimistic, armed with clippers and sass
Today? Today was a pretty damn good day.
First things first: nausea barely showed up. 🎉
Like… barely RSVP’d. I’ll take that win and put it straight in my pocket.
Because I was feeling decent, I broke out the clippers and tightened up with a buzz cut. Showered afterward, and every time I touched my head my hands were covered in hair. Not falling out in dramatic clumps—just quietly letting go like, “Okay, I’m done here.” I even cleaned the drain with a tissue because I refuse to let chemo take my plumbing too.

Enter my sweet kid moment of the day:
Nicholas felt bad watching me deal with it, so he asked me to shave his head too. 🥹
We both went with the #3. I kept the top of mine a little longer and did the sides and back tighter. He went full #3 all the way around. Matching heads, matching courage. Not gonna lie—my heart cracked open a little.
I also checked in with the wig shop today, and friends… this is a resource everyone on this road should ask about.
In my area, there are a couple of places I can go, and I can actually get a FREE wig. Free. Zero dollars. Insurance-backed magic. The woman I spoke with was an absolute gem and said, “Everyone deserves at least one wig and a few hats in their arsenal.”
They’ve got wigs, hats, scarves—some free, some for sale—and I’m heading there on Friday.
Originally, I thought I’d go full eau natural.
But then I thought… wait a minute…
This might be my only chance to be blonde.
Casey is not a fan of blonde hair, which obviously means this is exactly the right moment to try it. I’ve been every color in the book except blonde. So… why not now? Chemo-era rebellion feels appropriate.
I may also have a couple of pink wigs sitting in my Amazon cart, but I’m holding off until after Friday. One impulsive hair decision at a time, Tina.
On the productivity front (who even is she?):
✔ Baking is DONE
✔ All presents are wrapped
✔ House is clean
✔ Ready for company
I am deeply thankful that Christmas landed on week 3 of my chemo cycle. That’s my “sweet spot.”
Here’s the rhythm, for those curious:
- Week 1: Steroids → Tina on espresso
- Then: Five days of self-injections (thrilling, truly)
- Week 2: Things get rough
- Week 3: I start to feel human again
That’s the pattern until mid-to-late February. On Monday, I start Round 2, and we ride the merry-go-round again.
Because I was feeling good, we kept one of our longest-running family traditions: going out to dinner on Christmas Eve.
This tradition exists because I used to procrastinate all my baking until Christmas Eve and then be way too tired to cook dinner. Instead of fixing my habits, we made it a tradition. Growth is overrated.
We’ve been doing this for at least 20 years.
Tomorrow, everyone comes here for Christmas Day. I do the dinner. I do the dessert. I am cautiously optimistic and aggressively hydrated. Wish me luck.
Tonight, I’m grateful.
Grateful for a calm stomach.
Grateful for a fresh buzz cut.
Grateful for a kid who said, “Me too, Mom.”
Grateful for resources, traditions, and a body that—on some days—still shows up ready to play along.
And today?
Absolutely counts. 💪🎄
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Today Was a Good Day
🌼 Date: Tuesday, December 23, 2025
⚡ Energy: Better than expected
💔 Status: Alive (medicated, baking)
🌞 Outlook: Cautiously optimistic, clippers nearby
Today was a good day.
And I don’t say that lightly.
I think — I hope — we finally found the right combination of meds to shut the nausea down. Pepcid paired with my nausea medication seems to be the magic ticket, and for the first time in a while, I wasn’t bargaining with my stomach all day.
Even better, my doctor confirmed what I already suspected: I should not be vomiting and feeling this nauseous. So we’re adjusting meds again — a different anti-nausea prescription and something to help me sleep. If this works, maybe the 40-hour awake cycles can officially retire. I would love to sleep like a normal person again. What a concept.
And the best part?
This isn’t my new normal.
Today felt… productive.
Normal-adjacent.
I baked.
Wrapped more gifts as they arrived.
Did a little sewing.
Worked on a creative Christmas project.
Not survival tasks.
Life tasks.
So yes — a genuinely good day.
And then there’s the other part.
The part where if I even look at my hair wrong, it comes out.
Scratch my head? Hair.
Run my fingers through it? Hair.
Exist near it? Hair.
It’s reached the point where touching it feels like a betrayal — like my hands are accomplices in something I didn’t agree to. At this rate, I’m not sure how much hair will even be left by Saturday.
So tonight, there’s a strong chance Casey and I fire up the clippers for a pre–head shaving trim. Not the full send. Just… easing into it. Shortening things up so every shower doesn’t feel like a crime scene.
This is the strange balance of right now:
Relief and loss.
Hope and grief.
Medication wins and hair everywhere.
Both things are true.
Both get space.
But today still counts as a win.
I felt better.
I lived a little.
And I’m meeting what’s coming on my own terms — clippers included.
We keep going.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
I Got Dressed
🌼 Date: Monday, December 22, 2025
⚡ Energy: Low, but showing up
💔 Status: Alive (bare nails, real clothes)
🌞 Outlook: Holding steady, with receipts
Today, I got dressed.
Not “clean pajamas” dressed.
Not “leggings and a hoodie, let’s survive” dressed.
I put on real clothes.
I did my makeup.
I looked in the mirror and recognized myself — even if just a little.
That hasn’t happened much since all of this started.
We went to the potluck and gift exchange for support staff.
I didn’t go for the food or the gifts. I went because sometimes showing up is its own form of defiance. Because I didn’t want cancer — or disappointment — to shrink my world any more than it already has.
Casey came with me, which immediately made everything better. Chauffeur. Buffer. Emotional support human. Knowing I wasn’t walking into that room alone mattered more than I expected.
Was it awkward?
A little.
Was it survivable?
Absolutely.
I smiled. I made small talk. I didn’t explain myself. I didn’t defend anything. I didn’t “have a face” (which honestly deserves an award). I stayed exactly as long as I wanted to — and then I left.
And here’s the part I don’t want to gloss over:
I showed up as myself.
Dressed. Present. Still standing.
That counts.
After that, I had to do something that felt surprisingly heavy: I went and had my acrylic nails taken off.
And no — this wasn’t vanity, and it wasn’t optional.
According to the nurses during chemo, the TC cocktail I’m on can cause fingernails to loosen and fall off. The added weight of acrylics can make that happen sooner. Over the last few days, the tips of my fingers have started to hurt — not sore, but deep, like the nail beds themselves are bruised or smashed with a hammer. Subtle. Constant. Impossible to ignore.
So today meant a visit to my favorite, long-time nail lady — the one I’ve been seeing for nearly 20 years, back when our youngest son was still in a car seat. Sitting there felt awful in a way I didn’t expect. Like I was sending her to the unemployment line. Like we were both pretending this was temporary when we knew it wasn’t.
Of all the silly things to be losing right now, this one feels like the final straw.
Not my boobs.
Not even my hair — hair grows back.
But my nails?
They’ve been me since high school. Every two weeks like clockwork. Nail art. Bling. Sparkle. Tiny armor. A small, consistent way of saying, “I’m still here.”
Maybe this is the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Maybe it’s the exhaustion.
Maybe it’s the lack of hormones.
Maybe it’s all of it at once.
When I got home, I changed into my black satin pajamas, and mourning felt appropriate — for more reasons than one.
Because my hair is really starting to come out now. In the shower today, it covered my hands. Every time I touched my head, more came away. Styling it meant rinsing handfuls of hair from my fingers, over and over again. I’m hoping I can make it to Saturday — to the head shaving party — but with how fast it’s going, I’m not sure I get to decide that.
By the end of the day, I was exhausted. Physically. Emotionally. Today took a toll.
So tonight, I’m letting myself rest.
I’m hoping for sleep.
And I’m crossing my fingers this isn’t the start of another 40-hour awake cycle — because I’m due for one soon, and honestly, I could use a break.
No big lesson today.
Just the truth.
I got dressed.
I showed up.
I came home with my dignity intact.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
In Sickness and In Health (Turns Out It Wasn’t Theoretical)
🌼 Date: Sunday, December 21, 2025
⚡ Energy: Low but sentimental
💔 Status: Alive (and still married)
🌞 Outlook: Grateful with a side of awe
Today is a big one.

Casey and I have been married for 34 years.
Thirty. Four.

We met in high school — I graduated in 1989, he graduated in 1990 — and somehow, instead of growing apart, we just… kept choosing each other. That means we’ve spent well over half our lives side by side. Honestly, it’s closer to two-thirds, which feels both wild and grounding at the same time.
People love a good love story, but they don’t always love to talk about what it actually takes to keep one.
Ours has survived:
- growing up together
- becoming adults together
- the loss of a child (which breaks many marriages beyond repair)
- and now, cancer
And yet — here we are.
Still laughing.
Still sitting in silence without it being awkward.
Still knowing what the other one needs without saying a word.

Casey is my ride or die, my best friend, and my favorite person to do everything with — from vacations and adventures to sitting in complete silence like it’s a competitive sport.
Lately, that also looks like him sticking right by my side when chemo decides to humble me — again. He’s the one ready to hold my hair back… if I had enough hair to actually hold. He changes my bandages without hesitation. He helps when my body feels unfamiliar and fragile and frankly annoying. And he does all of it without flinching, without making a face, and without ever making me feel less than.

There’s no drama.
No martyrdom.
No “look at me being a good guy.”
Just quiet, steady love in motion.
He shows up in the moments no one posts about. The unglamorous ones. The messy ones. The ones that test whether love is real or just poetic. Turns out “in sickness and in health” wasn’t theoretical.

That kind of love doesn’t come from grand gestures.
It comes from choosing each other every single day, especially when things get hard, weird, or involve medical tape.
Romance is great. Changing bandages without flinching is elite.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Fur Babies, and My Mary
🌼 Date: Saturday, December 20, 2025
⚡ Energy: Low → improving
💔 Status: Alive
🙂 Outlook: Holding steady (with a side of gratitude)
Today feels different — in a good way.
The nausea finally backed off enough that I could eat and keep food down. I actually managed about three times the calories I got yesterday, which feels like a victory worth celebrating quietly. My dehydration headache is gone too, so we’re calling that a solid win/win.
Of course, the universe likes balance.
At 2:30 this morning, after a whole five hours of sleep (luxury!), I discovered that our senior dog Momo — who is 12, blind, diabetic, and gets insulin shots twice a day — had peed on the Christmas tree skirt… and a few of the presents underneath it.
Not exactly what I had planned while still feeling pretty nauseous.
So, there I was, pulling gifts out from under the tree, washing the tree skirt, mopping the floor, and then putting everything back together. The gifts that got hit? I got the special bonus experience of unwrapping them early… only to rewrap them again. Definitely not on my bingo card for the morning.
Somewhere between the mop bucket and the wrapping paper, I realized something else — I’ve never formally introduced you to our fur babies, and they’re very much part of this whole journey.



Meet Momo, our Japanese Chin/Pomeranian mix — sweet, elderly, blind, diabetic, and still very much running the household. And Gidget, our 8-year-old Yorkie, who is pure sass and attitude and clearly takes after her mother. She’s also a big fan of leopard print, as evidenced by her dedication to stealing my blanket and claiming it as her own.

They are chaotic, comforting, exhausting, grounding, and exactly what we need.
On a brighter note, my friend Mary got started on the window decals, and I am absolutely in love with how they turned out. All the tweaks, edits, and back-and-forth were worth it. Seeing that BADASS ribbon in the wild made me stop and smile — which doesn’t always happen automatically these days.


So today held nausea relief, messy surprises, fur-covered blankets, wrapping paper round two, and a visual reminder that this whole thing — the blog, the words, the art — is becoming real.
Not perfect.
Not easy.
But real.
And for today, that’s enough.
We keep going.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Feelingless Boobs (and Other Things No One Prepares You For)
🌼 Date: Friday, December 19, 2025
⚡ Energy: Low
💔 Status: Alive – I think
😒 Outlook: Holding steady, but we keep going
Some days, the phrase “we keep going” sounds motivational.
Other days, it’s just a fact.
Today was a fact kind of day.
The numbness nobody really explains
I went down a Google rabbit hole trying to understand why everything from my collarbone to just under where my breasts should be is numb. Not “a little tingly.” Not “asleep.” Just… gone.
Turns out, during a double mastectomy, a whole lot of sensory nerves get cut. They run right through the tissue that gets removed, so there’s no way around it. The nerves that supply sensation to the breast skin, nipple, areola, chest wall, and even into the armpit area are often severed or damaged.
That includes nerves coming off the ribs (intercostal nerves), nerves in the armpit where lymph nodes live, and nerves that run along the pectoral muscle — the exact areas my physical therapist worked on this week.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, I realized I was having one of those days in full-on leopard pajama mode. No armor. No pretending. Just soft clothes, a tired body, and the quiet decision to keep showing up anyway.
If you want the medical receipts, I’m putting all of that information over on The Science of the Shit Show because it helps me to understand why my body feels the way it does — even when I don’t like the answer.
Physical therapy:
progress I didn’t expect
Here’s the part that surprised me.
I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t done every stretch every day. And yet… my range of motion improved — in some movements, almost doubled. That felt like a small miracle.
My physical therapist worked deeply in my armpits (where lymph nodes were removed), and in that strange no-man’s-land where the armpit turns into the chest muscle. She also worked lower — right over the expanders themselves.
It wasn’t painful, but it was… weird. Pressure without sensation. Like my brain knew something was happening, but my body couldn’t fully feel it.
Feelingless boobs and other things no one prepares you for
Will I ever get feeling back?
The honest answer: maybe a little, maybe not much.
Nerves can regenerate, but slowly. Sometimes sensation returns partially. Sometimes it doesn’t. I already know that when nipple reconstruction happens, there will be no sensation there. Permanently. High beams on forever.
But realizing that large parts of my chest — and my boobs — may never feel anything again? That’s a lot to wrap my head around.
What does it mean to live in a body where parts of you are permanently offline?
I don’t have a poetic answer yet. I’m still processing that one.
When “different” suddenly feels like “wrong”
Fast forward to the shower.
I noticed my right side now feels flat and hard at the top of the expander — just like the left. The left side had the larger tumor, so I was told it would look more recessed until final implants go in. Fine. I had adjusted to that.
But now the right side looks and feels different too.
Cue the spiral:
- Did physical therapy push fluid out?
- Did a seroma finally absorb?
- Did something rupture?
- Or is this just… another normal-but-unsettling phase?
Right now, I don’t know. I just know something changed, and when your body has already betrayed you once, change doesn’t feel neutral.
And then there’s the nausea
If I had to rank chemo symptoms, nausea wins. Every time.
Hair loss? Hair grows back.
Fingernails falling off? (Yes, that’s a thing with my chemo.) They grow back too.
But nausea? Nausea is relentless.
Yesterday afternoon, it won. I can’t keep anything down — even ginger ale wants no part of this. I have multiple nausea meds, and sometimes even mixing and matching them doesn’t touch it.
This is one of those symptoms you don’t power through. You don’t fix it. You just… ride it out.
And that helpless feeling? That’s not my favorite place to live.
Before cancer (BC), I’d just sleep when I felt sick. Now my sleep is so broken I can’t even escape that way.
It’s a solid –15/10, would not recommend.
So… we keep going
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, I realized I was having one of those days in full-on leopard pajama mode. No armor. No pretending. Just soft clothes, a tired body, and the quiet decision to keep showing up anyway.
No big lesson today.
No silver lining neatly wrapped with a bow.
Just this:
My body is healing and hurting at the same time.
Progress and loss are happening side by side.
Things are changing — sometimes for the better, sometimes just… different.
And even when I don’t love it, even when it’s uncomfortable, scary, or exhausting —
we keep going.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Uterine Uprising
🌼 Date: Thursday, December 18, 2025
⚡ Energy: Low
💔 Status: Alive, betrayed by my uterus
🌞Outlook: Sarcastically optimistic
I was told chemo would shove me straight into menopause.
Apparently, my body did not get that memo.
Instead, it chose “’Tis the season of giving” and went full Harry & David gift basket on me.
Not a polite period.
Not a familiar one.
A full-blown, go-big-or-go-home, Day-family-motto-approved uterine uprising.
Today’s symptoms include:
- Nausea (explained retroactively)
- A headache that could qualify as a side hustle
- Cramps so intense I am genuinely questioning whether my uterus is trying to evict something
I am not having cramps.
I am having contractions.

Picture Alien.
Picture Sigourney Weaver.
Now imagine me, in pajamas, timing them and doing the “he, he, ha” breathing because muscle memory is apparently undefeated.
Add a heating pad glued to my abdomen and me curled up in the fetal position, and voilà — festive.
Sleep: The Remix No One Asked For
Let’s talk about sleep, or whatever this current situation is pretending to be.
Between the steroids and the Granix shots, I’ve officially named this phase “The 40-Hour Uppers.”
My new pattern:
- Stay awake for 40 hours straight
- Crash for 10 hours
- Followed by 2–5 hours a night for a couple days
- Rinse. Repeat.
- I’ve completed three full all-nighter cycles so far
This might’ve been cute in my 20s.
In my 50s? Hard pass.
And yet… I’m productive.
Dangerously productive.
Which is how One Badass Day at a Time was born.
Apparently, insomnia + steroids + cancer = website launch energy.
Somewhere in all of this chaos, my soul is being held together by my Christmas playlist — a 29-hour, 8-minute labor of love that Casey lovingly roasts me for every year. Music has always been how I survive — from sitting in the car until a song finishes, to playlists for every mood and moment — because it feeds my soul the way hormones once fed my body… only this time, it’s actually saving me.
Gratitude
(Because We’re Still Doing That)
Even though I feel like my guts are wearing themselves on the outside today:

✨ All Christmas shopping is done (online of course)
✨ All gifts are wrapped (as they arrived — unheard of behavior)
✨ No 2 a.m. wrapping frenzy this year
✨ And last night, I took a cute photo in my red “hello, Santa’s helper” pajamas by the tree, placing gifts underneath it with true OCD-approved spacing
So yes, my body is currently unhinged —
but my living room is immaculate.
I’ll take the win.
Status: Still Alive. Still standing. Still not accepting unsolicited uterine opinions.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Chemo nausea? She’s rude. She’s unpredictable. She does not RSVP.
🌼 Date: Wednesday, December 17, 2025
⚡ Energy: Low but functional
🤢 Status: Nauseous, mouth angry, still standing
✨ Outlook: One pretzel at a time
Nausea update:
This is not morning sickness.
Morning sickness at least has the decency to show up on a schedule.
Chemo nausea?
She’s rude. She’s unpredictable. She does not RSVP.
It hits at random, with zero warning, and foods I’ve loved my entire life are suddenly dead to me.
Case in point:
Last night I tried a lime popsicle.
Hydration, right?
Wrong.
One taste and my body said, “Oh hell nah.”
Which is tragic, because lime + Tajín is normally my love language.
What is working:
Gluten-free Pretzel Crisps.
Plain. Dry. Salty. Boring.
And right now? Absolute heroes.
Why pretzels help (aka science backing my snack choices):
- Bland & dry = less smell, less trigger
- Easy to digest simple carbs
- Salt helps replace electrolytes
- Something in your stomach is better than nothing
They don’t fix nausea — but they keep it from turning into a full-blown rebellion.
(And yes, I googled it. Receipts matter.)
When the pretzels aren’t cutting it, I’ve also been leaning hard on something I call Chemo Moonshine — a warm, spiced apple cider drink I found during one of my late-night nausea spirals. It’s gentle, soothing, and somehow convinces my stomach to stand down.
If nausea is coming for you too, I shared the recipe here ↓
👉 Chemo Moonshine Recipe:
The nausea drink that’s saving my sanity lives here → [Tina-Tested Survival Guide]
Hair update + Important Announcement
With my chemo cocktail (DT — details live on the Receipts page), hair loss typically starts days 17–19 after the first infusion.
My first infusion was 12/09, which puts me right in the 12/26–12/28 window.
I’m already seeing:
- Breakage
- Shedding
- Texture changes
It now feels like what we affectionately call “baby monkey hair.”
Innocent. Soft. Betraying me quietly.
So, I am taking control.
🪒 Head Shaving Party
🌟 Saturday, December 27
⏰ 1:00 PM
📍 My house
If you’re coming, you already have my number — text me for the address.
(Creeper-free zone, always.)
It’s just hair.
It will grow back.
Eventually.
Until then, I’ll be rocking the chrome dome through at least mid-May…
Just in time to get the convertible out of storage. 😎
(Yes, I will absolutely be driving it topless.)

Cancer may keep throwing monkey wrenches —
but I’m still steering.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Some Days Are Brave. Some Days Are Blankets.
🌼 Date: Tuesday, December 16, 2025
⚡Energy: Low battery, charger located (recliner + snacks)
❤️🩹 Status: Alive
🌤️ Outlook: Tender, grateful, mildly unamused by my own body

Fit Check:
Pink polka dot pajamas — because today called for comfort, not couture.
Chemo says “be gentle,” so I listened.
Also, if I’m going to feel like hot garbage, I might as well look adorable doing it.
Body Update (a.k.a. Things No One Warns You Feel This Fast):
The mouth sores have officially arrived.
It feels like swishing with a handful of broken glass — 0/10, do not recommend.
My bottom lip is also numb. Not tingling. Just… missing.
A very strange sensation, like my mouth and I are no longer on speaking terms.
I already take folic acid (thanks to a previous medication that caused similar mouth nonsense), and even though that med is paused during chemo, the folic acid stays — small mercies.
I’m also rinsing after every meal with warm water, sea salt, and baking soda to restore the pH balance in my mouth… because apparently my mouth is now a toxic environment. Cool.
On top of that:
Constant dry mouth.
No amount of water helps.
Despite owning approximately 14 different types of lip chap (my kids named the collection), my lips remain Sahara Desert dry.
Eating? Not super appealing when your mouth feels like it’s under attack.
I’m down 4 pounds in 4 days.
DO NOT recommend the chemo diet.
Also, intermittent toxic glitter shooting out of my ass like a flamethrower probably isn’t helping the weight situation. Just saying.
Gratitude Check (because balance):
✨ I’m DONE giving myself Granix shots for this round — huge win.
✨ I had the energy to shower.
✨ I put on my cute armor (pink polka dot jammies).
✨ And I even wrapped a few Christmas gifts.
Some days are brave.
Some days are blankets.
Today was pajamas, mouth pain, and survival — and that’s more than enough.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
I Cried at the Rain
🌼 Date: Monday, December 15, 2025
⚡Energy: Low → depleted, but still breathing
❤️🩹 Status: Alive
😒 Outlook: Emotionally unpredictable. Physically annoyed. Still showing up.
Today I Cried Because It Was Raining
I was laying back in my recliner, mid-chemo spiral, trying to decide whether everything I’d managed to eat was going to stay put…
or if I was about to spew fire and toxic glitter from my ass for the umpteenth time today.
And then I looked outside.
It was raining.
That’s it.
That’s the whole reason.
I cried because it was raining.
Not because it was beautiful.
Not because it was sad.
Not because it reminded me of anything profound.
Just… rain.
No hormones.
No dramatic backstory.
No deeper meaning.
Apparently, this is where we’re at.
Chemo brain is wild. Emotions show up uninvited, kick their shoes off, and make themselves at home. One minute you’re fine, the next minute you’re sobbing over weather.
I laughed after. Because what else can you do?
If this is part of the journey, then fine.
I’ll cry at the rain.
I’ll cry at commercials.
I’ll cry at absolutely nothing.
Also completed Day 5 of my Granix shots — immune system under renovation, please excuse the mess.
Still here.
Still standing.
Still alive.
One badass day at a time. 🌧️💗
📝Side note: I wrote more about the Granix shots and other support meds over on The Receipts for anyone who wants the nitty-gritty.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
When Life Hands You a Shit Sandwich
🌼 Date: Sunday, December 14, 2025
⚡Energy: Reserved for what actually matters.
❤️🩹 Status: Alive. Disappointed. Clear.
✨ Outlook: Evolving.
Last week handed me a lesson I didn’t ask for — but apparently needed.
Have you ever waited patiently for something for years?
Not months.
Not casually.
Years.
I did everything right. I showed up. I worked harder than required. I trained myself and others. I stayed late. I came in early. I said yes when it wasn’t my job to say yes. I believed the promises that were made to me.
And then… I got the form letter. Eight years of my heart and soul for a form letter.
You know the one.
“So many qualified candidates.”
Sure. Okay.
What hurt most wasn’t the “no.”
It was the silence after.
No call. No conversation. No courtesy.
Just confirmation that sometimes loyalty is only valued when it’s convenient.
And here’s the part that surprised even me:
I didn’t break.
I paused.
Because somewhere between cancer appointments, chemo schedules, and realizing how fragile life actually is, something clicked.
This job — this place — no longer gets to be the thing that defines my worth.
I am done sacrificing my health, my time, and my spirit for promises that never materialize.
So, I made a decision.
During chemo, my job is to heal.
My job is to rest.
My job is to protect what energy I have left.
I will no longer overextend myself to make systems work that don’t show up for me in return. I will do my job — not all the extra unpaid emotional labor that came with it.
And here’s the unexpected part:
Instead of shrinking… I started imagining.
If this blog can reach people across states, across countries, across the world — maybe this is the universe finally shouting what it’s been whispering for years:
You are meant for more than this one tiny box!
I’ve spent my life helping — foster kids, students, drivers, trainees. I love teaching. I love supporting. I love making people feel capable and seen.
Why limit that to one building, one little place…
when the internet exists?
When I was handed a giant shit sandwich last week, I realized something important:
I don’t have to eat it!
I’m allowed to say, “No thank you. I’m full.”
Also — I’m a vegetarian.
So here I am.
Still standing.
Still breathing.
Still me.
Just clearer.
Boundaried.
And no longer available for nonsense.
And today?
That’s enough.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Reporting Live from Chemo Station 19
🌼 Date: Tuesday, December 09, 2025
⚡ Energy: Wired, overwhelmed, and weirdly alert
💔 Status: Alive and officially infused
🌞 Outlook: Buckled in — let’s do this
Chemo Day: The Great Storm
This morning, we left the house with plenty of time for the 45-minute drive.
But Mother Nature said:
“Let’s make this fun.”
Flooding.
Storms.
Traffic stopped dead.
Power outages.
Every road looked like a scene from a dystopian drama.
GPS ETA: 8:12 am
Appointment time: 8:00 am
Me: Hyperventilating
Because I do not do late.
Bus drivers are NOT late.
Okay… fine…
Not usually double digits late.
I called the chemo clinic the second their phones turned on at 8:00.
A miracle happened:
A human answered.
I explained everything — the wound, the storm, the anxiety, all of it.
She said:
“Don’t worry. Be safe. Get here when you can.”
I hung up and burst into tears.
No hormones, remember?
Plus, three weeks of fear, pain, stress, and “what if my whole timeline gets screwed” finally broke me.

Thank God I have a human life preserver named Casey.
When I sink, he doesn’t just throw me a rope — he jumps in.
And Then… the Nurses Made Me Cry AGAIN
When I finally got to the infusion room, something unexpected happened.
Three of the nurses recognized me.
From Bryan’s treatments.
They cared for him during his three battles.

They remembered him.
They remembered me.
They remembered us.
And when they learned he had passed…
We all cried.
Right there.
In the infusion room.
They told me they rarely, if ever, get updates on patients after treatment ends.
It meant the world to them to finally know.
He mattered. He still matters.


The Pregnancy Test Fiasco
Then the doctor ordered a pregnancy test.
LOL.
Girl.
No.
This oven has been turned off for FIFTEEN YEARS.
My IV basically said,
“I accept incoming fluids only, thank you.”
It refused to give up any blood.
Not one drop.
One of the nurses literally said,
“Come on, Bryan, that’s not funny. Help your mama out.”
We laughed through tears.
The doctor finally said if I accepted responsibility, she’d waive the test.
I was like,
“Doc, the only way I’m pregnant is if the Virgin Mary herself blessed me personally — I had Essure put in 15 YEARS ago.”
And with that…
CHEMO ROUND 1 WAS ON.
Chemo-day glow and all.
💗 Introducing: Sir Drips-A-Lot
(My new, tall, shiny, clingy chemo boyfriend)
At some point during chemo, after my fifth close encounter with death-by-IV-pole, I had a realization:
If this thing is going to follow me around, bump into my ankles, and get tangled with every other patient like we’re doing the world’s slowest tango…
he deserves a name.
We will spend HOURS together.
He holds all my fluids like a champ.
He doesn’t judge when I ugly cry.
He doesn’t flinch when I swear like I’m trying to win a rap battle.
And he NEVER tells me to calm down.
Honestly?
He might be the most dependable male I’ve ever met who isn’t my husband.
And because Casey and I raised four kids who basically came out of the womb knowing how to rap, the name practically chose itself.
Behold… Sir Drips-A-Lot.

My tall, shiny, slightly wobbly chemo boyfriend.
He may not have rhythm, but he’s got BASS.
(Okay fine, it’s a pump motor… but let me have this.)
He rolls along beside me everywhere I go — to the bathroom, to the chair, to the next chair, to the OTHER chair because I can’t sit still.
We’re basically committed at this point. If he had a Facebook profile, our status would be:
“It’s complicated (but medically necessary).”
Chemo Day 1: Meet My New Dance Partner

Chemo comes with a lot of unexpected side quests…
but no one warned me about the pole dancing.
Walking that IV pole around the infusion room is like trying to waltz with a drunk octopus. There are cords, wheels, bags, pumps, and more random sticky-outy bits than a toddler’s science project. And the number of obstacles between my chair and the “patient restroom”? Criminal.
Every time someone else was out for a walk with their pole, we’d both do that awkward
“Sorry—no you go—wait—shit—okay!” shuffle.
Like… is there a “Right of Way” manual for this thing? They hook you up and send you off into the battlefield with NO training, NO instructions, NO laminated cheat sheet.
(Maybe I should teach a class. My schedule is pretty open…
you know, except for the TEN freaking appointments I average each month.)
You’re pumping people full of fluids for four hours straight.
You know we’re going to have to trot on over to the “patient only restroom.”
Would it kill someone to add:
- a cord hook (hello, even $40 vacuums have that),
- a phone shelf,
- a cup holder,
- and maybe a damn rhinestone option?
Because if I’m dragging this pole around like a reluctant toddler on wheels, the LEAST they could do is make it pink and sparkly.
The Bathroom Debacle (AKA: The Day a Stranger Saw My Whole Ass)
My very first trip to the “patient only restroom” gifted me a valuable life lesson:
👉 You have to double-click the lock.
Why? Because I learned the school of hard knocks way — mid-pee, pants around my ankles, — when a RANDOM DUDE opened the door.
At this point in my life, modesty has packed her bags and left the country.
I’ve given birth.
I’ve had a lifetime of “scoot down a little more… a little more… a little more” PAP smears.
I’ve been squished, smashed, scanned, and unfolded like origami.
I attend weekly appointments where my front-opening gown is basically optional.
And now?
I’m built like a 12-year-old boy with medical tattoos — so WHY the gown?
Do preteen boys have to wear those?
Asking for a friend.
The Dress Code for Chemo Day #1
If I must sit in a chair for hours, I will do it in STYLE.
So, naturally, I showed up in:
- My “I AM THE STORM” shirt
- My pink leopard Princess Blanket of Emotional Support™ – Thank you Teri!
- And the grand finale…
DEAR CANCER, YOU PICKED THE WRONG BITCH socks. Thank you, Jenn and Sarah!
I feel they set the tone, don’t you?

Now for the other fun facts they don’t tell you…
For the first 3 days after chemo, I’m supposed to use my own restroom — and flush twice each time to avoid leaving behind any toxic radioactive glitter.
If Casey has to clean up anything that escapes from either end (sorry, but if you’re here you signed up for raw and real), he must:
- glove up
- double-bag anything used
- and wash his hands like he just handled uranium
The man didn’t sign up to become a Toxic Body Fluid First Responder, but here he is, earning medals daily.
If I get chemo funk on my clothes (Jesus take the wheel NOT the pink satin leopard PJs), they must be washed solo, then washed again with my regular laundry.
Our water bill is going to send the city council into retirement.
Meanwhile, the IV pole is still my clingy new boyfriend.
He goes everywhere with me.
He holds all my fluids.
He beeps when he wants attention.
And he will absolutely yank my arm out of socket if I walk too fast.
But you know what?
He can stare all he wants, because between my socks, my shirt, my fluffy blanket, and my attitude…
I still look like the better half of this relationship.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
Bring It, Cancer. (Chemo Round 1, Pending Approval)
🌼 Date: Monday, December 8, 2025
⚡ Energy: Low and anxious
💔 Status: Alive, negotiating with my body
🌞 Outlook: Determined, but braced
Round 1: Bring It, Cancer
The Bad News: My Last 3 Weeks of Plastics
(And yes, we call it Plastics now — because Mean Girls walked so my boobs could run. And of course, on Wednesdays, we wear pink.)
So, here’s the deal:
My right-side incision has decided it does NOT want to behave.
The left side — the one with the bigger tumor — is healing like a damn honor student.
The right side — tiny tumor, barely a blip — is being a full-blown problem child.
Even my entire medical team is like, “Ummm… what?” So, here’s the deal:
Origami Boobs: The Saga
My plastic surgeon used the Bostwick technique, which basically takes my excess skin, deepithelializes it (Google it!), and folds it into a supportive sling — like a delicate little breast burrito — to hold the expander in place.
Why?
Because if you’ve ever laid on your back and felt your boobs migrate into your armpits, you’ll understand EXACTLY why we don’t want expanders or implants doing the same thing.
So now, thanks to all the intricate folding, we call them Origami Boobs.
It makes the whole thing feel a little more high art and a little less medical horror movie.
The Whole “Wound That Won’t Heal” Situation
Real, Raw, Unfiltered — Just Like I Promised
This is what a post-mastectomy anchor incision actually looks like.
No filters. No pretending it’s “not that bad.”
This is my right-side T-junction a few weeks ago, back when it was behaving. I’m sparing you the nasty, open wound, gaping hole picture of now because even I can’t really look at it. In this photo, the hole on the bottom was actually a little bigger than the 1 – 1/2 cm that it is now — the one holding up the show right now and keeping my skin from healing the way it should.
If you’re here because you’re facing this surgery too, I want you to know exactly what it looks like, so you never feel blindsided like I did.

Right now, at the T-junction of my scar, the top layer of skin has basically said,
“Nope. Not today. Not healing. Try again later.”
Which means:
No fills. For three straight weeks.
I’m still sitting at 150cc — the official size of a Capri Sun pouch — and it’s not moving anytime soon.
Why?
Because any added pressure on that wound risks splitting the delicate origami flap underneath… which would mean another surgery.
And since chemo wrecks your immune system faster than a toddler with a Sharpie, healing will already be slow.
So, no fills until this diva wound decides to get its act together.
The Photo Shoot Nobody Wants
At yesterday’s plastics appointment, the nurse had to take a photo of my boob with a ruler next to it — literally measuring the hole — and send it to my oncologist with a “Heyyyyy, sooo… is chemo still happening tomorrow?” note.
Crunch time.
Chemo was supposed to be this morning.
Plastics was last night at 4:30pm.
We had planned all the appointments for the next 3 months carefully around my expected blood count cycles.
My whole damn treatment timeline depended on that wound getting a green light.
And here I was with a gaping T-junction hole and zero fills allowed.
Cue the Anxiety Parade
Normally, I take an anxiety pill before Plastics, mostly because looking at my own disfigured body is still incredibly hard.
(At my first appointment I sobbed like a newborn the minute the nurse removed all the bandaging — big ugly cry.)
I refused to look at myself for almost three weeks.

Enter Mr. Strong Man — my husband — who talks me off the ledge every time.
This man loves me so damn much… I still don’t know what I ever did to deserve him.
And Then… the Oncologist Called
We were driving home in that heavy emotional fog when my phone rang through the car speakers.
It was my oncologist — the angel of decision-making, the queen of “are we still doing chemo or not?”
She’d reviewed the photo.
The wound looked like a bit over 1 cm.
Her worry? Infection.
My worry? EVERYTHING.
So, we negotiated.
Terrorist vs. hostage-level negotiations.
I agreed to:
✔ seal the magic bandage (silver, foamy, bougie, very fancy) on all four sides
✔ keep a photo log (sorry Casey, that’s now your new part-time job)
✔ call at the first sign of redness, swelling, or fever
✔ not cheat, push, or overdo it
And in return…
CHEMO WAS STILL ON.
💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
