Deflate Gate, CPR Boobs & Operation: Tiny Dog – The Interview

Deflate Gate, CPR Boobs & Operation: Tiny Dog – The Interview

🌼 Date: Wednesday, March 11, 2026

⚡ Energy: Slightly lopsided but still hopeful

❤️ Status: Officially a member of the Uni-Boob Club

😘 Outlook: Healing, patience… and possibly a road trip to Seattle

Today was the long-awaited plastics appointment for Deflate Gate. 😢

For those of you who have been following along and doing the math, I currently had 515cc in each expander. The plan for today was simple:

Remove all 515cc from the right side before radiation.

Easy, right?

Well… if you know me at all, you already know I don’t do anything the easy way.

The first 150cc came out beautifully. Smooth. Efficient. Textbook.

Then… nothing.

The syringe stopped pulling fluid like my boob had suddenly decided to clamp down and go on strike.

The nurse tried a few tricks.
Reposition the needle.
Adjust the syringe.
Try again.

Still nothing.

Apparently even my boobs have a stubborn streak.

So naturally, this meant it was time to bring in Nurse #2.

Her assignment: push all the remaining fluid toward the port so Nurse #1 could suction it out.

Now when I say push, I don’t mean a gentle little nudge.

I mean two hands, leaning in, pushing on my chest like she was performing CPR on someone who had no pulse and had been gone for ten minutes.

I’m honestly a little surprised I didn’t leave there with a cracked rib and a toe tag.

But eventually… success.

All 515cc are officially gone from the right side.

And remember the picture I painted earlier about the empty milk jug you accidentally stepped on that formed around your foot?

Well now imagine you screw the lid on that jug so there is zero air left inside.

Then push it flat.

Then push it even flatter.

Then somehow manage to make it concave.

Ladies and gentlemen…

That is now my right side.

It is flatter than flat.

In fact, it’s actually sucked inward toward my chest.

And the fun part?

It has to stay like this for about four weeks after radiation is finished. Possibly longer. It all depends on how quickly my skin heals and when my plastics team feels comfortable starting the refill process again.

The good news is that when refills start again, they can do larger increments than 50cc at a time, so it shouldn’t take quite as long to get back to 515cc.

But until roughly mid-June…

I will now proudly answer to the name:

The Uni-Boober.

Now let’s move on to the part you’ve all been waiting for…

Operation: Tiny Dog – The Phone Interview.

First things first, I received an email asking for photos of our house.

Very vague instructions.

So naturally, I went into full overachiever mode.

I took pictures of:

• The outside of the house
• The yard so they could see where she’ll run and potty
• The inside of the house from multiple angles
• The doggy ramp up onto the couch
• The couch with its official dog blankets
• The dog bed in front of the fireplace
• The basket of dog toys next to it
• Our bedroom with the other dog bed next to ours

Even though I clearly explained in the application that Gidget sleeps on our bed, and the new little lady can sleep wherever she feels comfortable.

And of course… I may have snuck in a few pictures of Gidget, because honestly, how could I not?

The phone interview itself went really well.

The woman we spoke with actually has rescued Yorkies herself, and she agrees with what we’ve been thinking all along—that this little girl likely needs a companion, just like we think Gidget needs one.

She was rescued from a puppy mill, and she has an appointment on the 17th to be spayed.

Which means the earliest we could bring her home would be the 22nd.

So…

If everything continues to go well…

Next weekend might involve a road trip to Seattle.

And honestly?

After becoming the Uni-Boober of Oregon today, a five-pound snuggle buddy sounds like exactly the kind of medicine I could use.

Stay tuned, my beauties… this story might have a very happy ending.

💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time