Protein, Google MD, and the Bougie Hippie Camper

Protein, Google MD, and the Bougie Hippie Camper

🌼 Date: Sunday, June 28, 2026

⚡ Energy: Protein-powered and mildly ridiculous

❤️‍🩹 Status: Rebuilding the body, one scoop at a time

😙 Outlook: If my neutrophils need protein, they are about to get protein

I know we already talked about protein back on June 2nd.

But guess what?

We are talking about it again.

Because thanks to the very prestigious degree I have now earned from Google MD, I have learned that one of the other super important things my body needs to help my neutrophils crawl their little white-blood-cell butts back into adult-ville is protein.

Of course it is.

Drink more water.

Eat more protein.

Give it time.

The holy trinity of cancer recovery advice.

Very original.

Very annoying.

Very apparently necessary.

Now, when I say protein, I am not talking about just throwing a steak on my plate and calling it good.

Remember?

Vegetarian here.

Instantly harder.

Because if it has anything to do with Tina, why would it be easy?

Back when I first started doing the protein math, we figured my goal was somewhere around 82 to 102 grams of protein a day.

Cute.

Adorable.

Apparently that was more of a maintenance number.

And since I am nowhere close to maintenance mode, my body may need closer to 120 to 130 grams a day right now.

Every.

Single.

Day.

That requires a new game plan.

And obviously, a list.

Because hi.

Have we met?

I am Tina.

List maker.

Planner.

Professional overthinker.

Protein detective.

So everything has been revamped.

Including my morning mushroom coffee protein drink.

Let me start by saying this:

It is made from mushrooms, but it does not taste or smell like mushrooms.

Thank goodness.

Because I am not trying to drink hot mushroom soup pretending to be coffee in the morning.

The one I have been using claims focus is one of the benefits.

And maybe it is wishful thinking, but some of the words that have been hiding in the dark corners of my chemo brain actually seem to be stepping forward lately.

I am only using half a scoop, but I will take any help I can get.

Here is my current morning protein situation.

I mix half a scoop of mushroom coffee with 3/4 cup hot water.

Then I add two scoops of chocolate fudge protein powder, which gives me a whopping 42 grams of protein right there.

Then I add a bunch of cinnamon.

Yes, that is the technical measurement.

A bunch.

I measure cinnamon with my heart.

Then I use my frother to mix everything really well because I cannot handle chunks.

Chunks are not welcome here.

Chunks are how a perfectly good drink gets fired.

After that, I add a spoonful of Cool Whip to help cut down on the chalkiness of the protein powder.

Do not judge me.

Cool Whip is performing an important medical support role in this household.

Unofficially.

Then comes a very important step.

Add ice.

You need to cool the whole mixture down before adding the protein shake.

Once the ice has melted and the mushroom coffee chocolate mixture has cooled down, I add a couple ounces of caramel-flavored protein drink and about six ounces of vanilla Core Power protein drink.

Mix it all together.

Pour it over ice into a 20-ounce cup.

And there it is.

A delicious chocolatey drink with at least 52 grams of protein.

Fifty-two.

Before the day has even had a chance to annoy me.

I have been drinking one every morning, and on the days when I have not hit my goal, I make another one before bed.

The mushroom coffee is low enough in caffeine that it does not keep me awake, but if you are sensitive to caffeine, maybe test that situation before making yourself a bedtime chocolate protein rocket.

Nobody needs accidental midnight productivity.

Other protein tricks I have found:

Cottage cheese.

Some people love it.

Some people hate it.

For me, it has to be ice cold.

Not cool.

Not slightly chilled.

Ice cold.

I can eat it with salt and pepper or with peaches.

Those are the only two approved cottage cheese delivery systems.

But at 13 grams of protein in just half a cup, it makes a pretty good midday snack.

Fred Meyer also makes a yogurt I like that has 20 grams of protein.

I have been adding thawed frozen mixed berries and granola with added protein.

If I use that as lunch and eat two cartons, that is 40 grams of protein.

Boom.

Lunch with a purpose.

I am still grabbing protein bars too.

Yes, a lot of them are calorie bombs.

But I am almost 40 pounds down now, so I am not counting calories.

Calories are not the enemy right now.

My body needs fuel.

My body needs repair supplies.

My body needs to stop acting like it is running on fumes and stubbornness.

I also found protein-rich cinnamon Cheerios and a couple other protein cereals.

Honestly, my new shopping trick is typing the word protein before everything.

Protein cereal.

Protein yogurt.

Protein granola.

Protein soup.

Protein snacks.

Protein whatever.

There are so many choices now if you start looking.

Progresso even makes several soups with 18 grams of protein or more, which is great for days when I need something easy and warm.

For things that do not already come with extra protein, like some of my green smoothies, I just add a couple scoops of vanilla protein powder and boom.

Instant green smoothie with 42 grams of protein.

Again, the frother is key.

I cannot stress this enough.

Mix it well.

No chunks.

Serve over ice.

Those are the rules.

I also found out that hemp seeds and flax seeds have protein, and you can add them to smoothies, sprinkle them on salads, mix them into yogurt, or basically toss them at whatever food item is standing still long enough.

Normally, when we go camping with our group, we are the snack people.

Candy.

Crackers.

Chips.

All the good stuff.

But this year, the tables have turned.

This year, we did not fill the cupboards with our usual snack parade.

Instead, we have protein powder, protein drinks, protein bars, protein cereal, protein yogurt, protein granola, protein soup, hemp seeds, flax seeds, and probably enough protein-related items to make our fifth wheel qualify as a small nutrition store.

This year, when the 43-foot Taj Mahal rolled into the campground, complete with fireplace, washer and dryer, and glass-enclosed shower with unlimited hot water, the hippies came with it.

Protein hippies.

Hydration hippies.

Electrolyte hippies.

Seed-sprinkling hippies.

But let’s be clear.

We are still wearing shoes.

And showering.

In our bougie little camper shower.

With hot water.

Because yes, I may be sprinkling hemp seeds on things now, but I am not giving up civilization.

Bougie?

Absolutely.

Have you met me?

So that is where we are.

Trying to rebuild this body.

Trying to feed these cells.

Trying to convince my neutrophils to clock back in.

Trying to keep my platelets happy.

Trying to stay hydrated.

Trying to hit protein goals that feel wildly unreasonable for a vegetarian with nausea, taste issues, and a body that keeps changing the rules.

But I am trying.

One protein drink at a time.

One smoothie at a time.

One bowl of ice-cold cottage cheese at a time.

One seed-sprinkled, protein-packed, bougie-camper hippie moment at a time.

Tiny Tina is officially in her high-protein era.

May the neutrophils be impressed.

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One Badass Day at a Time