To Nip or Not to Nip

To Nip or Not to Nip

🌼 Date: Tuesday, July 7, 2026
⚡ Energy: Hopeful, relieved, and freshly inflated
💖 Status: Fill Day success
🥰 Outlook: The deluxe optical illusion package has been selected

Today was the day.

Back to plastics with the highest of hopes.

All of my bloodwork results were in, my neutrophils had finally decided to stop being dramatic, and I was hoping with every fiber of my slightly lopsided being that I would be able to get another fill.

And guess what?

We were all on the same page.

I got a fill!

Yes!

Another 150cc on the right side, bringing that side up to 300cc.

The left side is still sitting at 515cc, where it has been since before Deflate Gate entered the chat and turned my chest into an uneven construction zone.

But listen.

Progress is progress.

And 300cc feels a whole lot better than zero.

This fill process is going so much faster than the previous 50cc-at-a-time situation we did back in the day.

You know.

Back in the day.

Like five or six months ago.

Ha!

Cancer time is weird.

Something that happened a few months ago feels like it was either yesterday or during the Oregon Trail.

There is no in-between.

But today was a win.

A real one.

My bloodwork cooperated.

My body behaved.

My plastics team said yes.

And my right side got another step closer to catching up with the left.

Tiny Tina: Reconstruction Zone is officially back under construction.

Please pardon our dust.

New boobs still loading.

But the fill was not the only big thing that happened today.

I also had a conversation with my plastic surgeon about something that has been weighing on me lately.

To nip or not to nip.

Yes.

We are talking nipple reconstruction.

Because apparently this is my life now.

I told her I was not sure if I still wanted nipple reconstruction.

At first, I thought I probably would.

Because when you are first diagnosed and everything is moving fast, your brain tries to make a plan.

Mastectomy.

Expanders.

Chemo.

Radiation.

Implants.

Nipples.

Tattoos.

Done.

Like there is some kind of checklist you are supposed to follow to put yourself back together.

But the longer I have lived in this body after surgery, the more I have realized that I get to decide what “put back together” means for me.

And honestly?

I am really enjoying not wearing a bra.

Like, really enjoying it.

After decades of bras, straps, wires, adjusting, digging, slipping, poking, and boob management, the idea of not having to wear one is kind of glorious.

And frankly, I do not want to look like my headlights are on all the time.

There.

I said it.

If I am going through all of this reconstruction, I do not want to end up with permanent high beams.

Apparently fake boobs without nipples are called Barbie boobs.

Because obviously.

And honestly?

Barbie may have been onto something.

No bra.

No headlights.

No weird rubbing.

No extra surgery.

Just smooth little reconstructed Barbie boobs minding their own business.

My plastic surgeon told me that the 3D nipple tattoos are so good now that from the front, I may not even be able to tell the difference.

And on the radiated side, a surgically reconstructed nipple would likely flatten over time anyway.

Well.

Decision made.

No surgical nipples for me.

I will take the deluxe optical illusion package, please.

And can I tell you what a relief that decision was?

I felt like I lost five pounds.

Not actual pounds, unfortunately.

Let’s not get carried away.

But emotional pounds.

I did not realize how much that decision had been sitting on me until I gave myself permission not to do it.

I have been researching nipple reconstruction.

How they do it.

When they do it.

What the recovery is like.

How long you have to wait.

What happens with radiated skin.

What happens if the skin is already thin.

And let me just say, my skin has already been through enough.

Between mastectomy, expanders, radiation, fills, scars, tightness, and all the other nonsense, I am not exactly excited about signing up for another surgery after my exchange surgery just to add nipples I am not even sure I want.

Especially when I would have had to wait at least six months after the implant exchange, maybe longer, for the implants to “settle” before nipple reconstruction.

And then there would be the nipple tattoos after that.

So we are talking another round of waiting.

Another procedure.

More healing.

More decisions.

More appointments.

More me staring at my chest like it is a group project that will not end.

And then, of course, there is the terrifying thought of doing nipple reconstruction too early.

Because what if the implants settle?

What if gravity does what gravity does?

What if everything shifts?

And then boom.

All of a sudden, my nipples are looking up at me.

No thank you.

Creepy?

Yes.

Sexy?

Absolutely not.

I have been through too much to end up feeling like my chest is making eye contact with me.

Hard pass.

So today, I made a decision.

No surgical nipples.

Just beautiful 3D tattoos when the time comes.

Flat surface.

No bra requirement.

No permanent headlights.

No extra nipple surgery.

No creepy upward gaze.

Just the deluxe optical illusion package and whatever peace comes with choosing what feels right for my body.

Barbie boobs now.

Fancy 3D artwork later.

I can live with that.

Actually, I think I may thrive with that.

And that is the part I want to sit with for a minute.

Because reconstruction is personal.

So personal.

There is no one right way to do this.

Some women want nipples reconstructed.

Some want tattoos.

Some want nothing.

Some stay flat.

Some get implants.

Some use their own tissue.

Some change their minds.

Some know right away.

Some need time.

And all of it is valid.

Cancer takes so many choices away from you.

It tells you when to show up.

What to cut out.

What drugs to take.

What side effects to survive.

What appointments to attend.

What parts of your body are no longer safe.

So when you finally get to make a choice for yourself?

That matters.

Today, I got to choose.

And the answer is no surgical nipples for me.

Just the illusion.

The art.

The freedom.

The relief.

The bra-free future.

The “thank you, but my headlights are permanently off” package.

So yes, today was a big day.

I got another fill.

My right side is officially at 300cc.

My left side is still hanging out at 515cc like the overachiever it is.

And I made a decision that brought me more relief than I expected.

To nip or not to nip?

Not to nip.

Tiny Tina has spoken.

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💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time