Christmas Vacation Boobs
🌼 Date: Thursday, July 2, 2026
⚡ Energy: Campfire curious with a side of Google MD
💖 Status: Talking reconstruction and gummy bear implants
🧐 Outlook: If I have to learn new medical words, I’m making them weird
The chat around the campfire today led to the next big adventure in the Tina saga.
My “exchange” surgery.
Hopefully in October.
As far as I know, that is the next big step in this whole reconstruction process.
The plan is to take out the hard, uncomfortable tissue expanders and exchange them for the actual implants.
Which still makes me think of the library.
Return one thing.
Check out another.
Except instead of books, we are exchanging medical chest rocks for medically approved gummy bears.
Cancer reconstruction is weird.
Naturally, the conversation led to the gummy bear implant discussion.
And because I am now the proud holder of a very questionable degree from Google MD, I did a little research and learned a few new big words.
Before I go any further, let me say this clearly:
I am not a doctor.
I am not telling anyone what implants they should choose.
These are the implants my plastic surgeon and I have come to a mutual decision on based on my body, my cancer history, my reconstruction plan, and the outcome I am hoping for.
No two cases are the same.
What works for me may not be what works for someone else.
This is one of those decisions you make with your own doctor, your own body, your own risks, your own goals, and your own comfort level.
PSA over.
Now back to the gummy bears.
The implants I am talking about are often called “gummy bear” implants because the inside is made of a highly cohesive silicone gel.
Look at me using big words.
The inner core is made of cross-linked silicone polymers mixed with silicone oil.
Basically, the silicone molecules are bonded together tightly, which makes the gel thicker, more solid, and more jelly-like.
That thicker gel gives the implant its volume, shape, and bounce.
And because the gel is so cohesive, if the outer shell tears, the inside is designed to stay bound together instead of leaking into the body like old-school liquid silicone.
The easiest way to picture it is an actual gummy bear candy.
If you cut a gummy bear in half, liquid does not pour out.
Each half still holds its shape.
That is why they call them gummy bear implants.
Which is strangely comforting and also makes me want candy.
Now, let me explain how my brain works.
We are lovers of the movie Christmas Vacation.
It is in our permanent Christmas movie rotation every year.
Do we watch it more than once during the Christmas season?
Maybe.
Do I sometimes watch it outside the Christmas season?
Also maybe.
Can we quote almost every line?
Absolutely.
Do we randomly throw those quotes into conversations with our friends at the most awkward times?
Have you met us?
One of the lines we love is when Clark Griswold is talking about his food additive creation, the “Crunch Enhancer.”
He describes it as:
“It’s a non-nutritive cereal varnish. It’s semi-permeable, it’s not osmotic. What it does is it coats and seals the flake, prevents the milk from penetrating it.”
Obviously, that line has lived rent-free in our brains for years.
So when we started talking about my future gummy bear implants and I learned that the outer shell is made of a solid silicone elastomer, it sounded way too much like something that belonged in that scene.
A solid silicone elastomer?
Come on.
That is basically breast reconstruction’s version of non-nutritive cereal varnish.
It’s semi-permeable.
It’s not osmotic.
It coats and seals the gummy bear.
Prevents the nonsense from penetrating it.
Okay, fine.
Maybe that is not exactly how science would explain it.
But it is how campfire Tina and Google MD explained it.
So, in true Tina fashion, I have now decided that I will have Christmas Vacation boobs.
You’re welcome.
Now, mine will have a smooth surface.
The outer shell is silicone, but the surface can be smooth or textured.
And mine will be smooth because there is a medical problem linked mostly to textured breast implants called Breast Implant-Associated Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma, which is usually shortened to BIA-ALCL.
Yes.
That is a mouthful.
And yes, my brain heard “lymphoma” and immediately said, Excuse me, what now?
Important note: BIA-ALCL is not breast cancer.
It is a rare type of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, which is a cancer of the immune system.
It is most often found in the scar tissue and fluid around the implant.
The risk is considered low, but it is serious, and it is linked much more often with textured implants than smooth ones.
So when my doctor says smooth implants, I am not arguing.
Smooth it is.
After everything my body has already been through, I am not exactly looking to collect bonus cancers like side quest trophies.
No thank you.
Hard pass.
I already have enough medical badges for my imaginary side effect sash.
So yes, this is where my campfire conversations have landed.
Other people talk about fishing, weather, food, or who won at cards.
We talk about gummy bear implants, silicone elastomer shells, Christmas Vacation quotes, and rare implant-associated lymphomas.
Very normal.
Very casual.
Very us.
But honestly, I am glad we talked about it.
I like understanding what is coming next.
I like knowing what questions to ask.
I like being able to make jokes about something that feels scary, because sometimes humor is the only way I can keep my brain from running straight into panic mode.
The exchange surgery is still a few months away, if everything stays on track.
Radiation ended April 30, and the plan has been to wait about six months before the implant exchange.
That puts us around the end of October.
Which still makes me picture walking into surgery like:
Trick or treat, I’m here for my gummy bears.
And yes, I still think I should wear the hot pink safety vest, Casey’s hard hat, my black shiny Dr. Martens, and fully commit to my Tiny Tina: Reconstruction Zone costume.
Please pardon our dust.
New boobs under construction.
For now, I am still in the expander stage.
Still waiting.
Still healing.
Still filling.
Still learning new medical terms I never wanted to know.
Still making jokes around the campfire about silicone elastomers and cereal varnish.
Because that is what we do.
We take the scary.
We add a movie quote.
We laugh.
We ask questions.
We keep going.
One weird reconstruction conversation at a time.
Want to follow the journey from the beginning?
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💗 Tina –
One Badass Day at a Time
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